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Sunday, April 30, 2006

"Mr Anderson, We miss you..."
by Agent Smith

Here's a dedication to my favourite movie trilogy of all, The Matrix Trilogy. My name was inspired by the main character in the movie, Neo.

Introduction
The series began with1999's The Matrix. The film, written and directed by the Wachowskis and produced by Joel Silver, was highly successful, earning $456 million worldwide. The movie's mainstream success led to the greenlighting of the next two films of what the Wachowskis maintain was conceived as a trilogy,The Matrix Reloaded and The Matrix Revolutions. It was a number of years and several iterations of scripts before the final movies were approved. The two sequels were filmed simultaneously and released six months apart.
In acknowledgement of the Japanese anime that was a strong influence on the Matrix series, The Animatrix was produced. This is a collection of nine animated short films intended to further flesh out the concepts, history, characters and setting of the series. November 5 2003 saw both the conclusion to the film trilogy and an unprecedented event: the simultaneous worldwide release of a major motion picture, when The Matrix Revolutions hit cinema screens worldwide at exactly the same time.

Criticism of sequels
While the first movie was extremely successful, viewers continue to debate the quality of the sequels. Some fans and professional critics believe they exceed the quality and conceptual heights of the first film, while others found the later films disappointing.
Upon release, The Matrix Reloaded received mixed reviews. Some claimed that it had been "hyped beyond the point where it [could] possibly deliver". Fans responded that it was not possible to fully appreciate it without experiencing the entire series, including Revolutions, the Animatrix and the video game Enter the Matrix.
Several sequences in Reloaded were sources of particular contention. A rave scene in the human city of Zion was particulaly vilified, as were the various conversations between characters on the subjects of causality, purpose and the humans' dependence on machines; some felt these concepts were not as well-integrated into the screenplay as those of the original film, with entire scenes devoted to such discussions.
Many concepts and questions introduced in Reloaded incited strong speculation about how Revolutions would end the series. Heated discussions involving radical theories took place among fans. One particularly controversial moment was Neo's long-range destruction of a Sentinel towards the end of Reloaded, which appeared to contradict many of the rules laid down elsewhere in the series' continuity. Fans speculated that it would be explained through the revelation that Neo was at least partly machine, or through the possibility that the apparently "real" world was just another false reality or a "Matrix within a Matrix". When The Matrix Revolutions was finally released, a common complaint was that it did not give satisfying answers to these and other questions raised in Reloaded although it has been argued that the answers - whilst available in Revolutions - were simply not understood by a number of viewers.

Philosophy
Elements of philosophy, theology and ontology are heavily present in The Matrix. Students of Gnosticism will notice many of its themes touched upon. There are also many references to Hinduism, Buddhism, Taoism, and Christianity, with concepts of enlightenment, nirvana and rebirth. Further references to Buddhism and Hinduism include the free will versus fate debate, the use of the Hindu mantras in the movie's soundtrack, perception, the concept of Maya, Karma and various ideas about the nature of existence. In many ways The Matrix is about a kind of reality enforcement, hyperreality or, some might say, an awareness that the material and physical world are an illusion.
Some Christian anarchists say the world we live in is a Matrix and the only way of escaping is through achieving enlightenment. They say notable escapees over the years have included Abraham, Moses, John the Baptist, Jesus of Nazareth and Muhammad. They believe the movie has many similarities to the New Testament with Neo, Morpheus and Cypher playing the parts of Jesus, John the Baptist and Judas respectively. These Christian anarchists believe the main difference to The Matrix is that outside our world lies paradise rather than the dark world portrayed in the movie.
One of the major debates arising from the film is the philosophical question, is our world reality or is it merely an illusion which is billions of years old? This theory had also been developed by the philosopher Nick Bostrom, Are you living in a computer simulation?
The Matrix follows all phases of the Campbellian monomyth arc with near-literal precision, including even minor details like the circular journey, the crucial battle happening underground, and even the three-headed immortal enemy (the three agents).
The character of the Oracle is strongly similar to that of the Oracle of ancient Greek legend. In particular, her warning to Neo that he is faced with a choice between saving his own life, or Morpheus' is very reminiscent of the warning that the Oracle gave to King Leonidas when setting out for the Battle of Thermopylae. In the Greek legend, she warns Leonidas that either his city will be left in ruins, or that a Spartan king must die, thus Leonidas is left with the choice of his own life or the survival of his city. It could be further argued that had Neo chosen to save his own life, Smith would have gained the access codes he needed from Morpheus and the city of Zion would have fallen. Thus, ultimately, Neo's choice was the same as that of Leonidas: his own life, or the fate of a city.
The ideas behind The Matrix have been explored in old philosophical texts on epistemology, such as Plato's allegory of the cave and Descartes' Meditations on First Philosophy. In a well-known Solipsistic thought experiment, the subject is a brain in a vat of liquid; in the Matrix, Neo is a body in a vat. The idea of a choice whether or not to take the red pill and accept reality also resembles a famous thought experiment posed in the 1970s by American philosopher Rober Nozick.
Postmodern thought plays a tangible role in the movie. In an opening scene, Neo hides an illegal minidisk in a false copy of Jean Baudrillard's Simulacra and Simulation, a work that describes modern life as a hyperreal experience of simulation based upon simulation. Interpretations of The Matrix often reference Baudrillard's philosophy to demonstrate that the movie is an allegory for contemporary experience in a heavily commercialized, media-driven society, especially of the developed countries. Nevertheless, Jean Baudrillard himself rejected the assimiliation of his work with the Matrix series and refused to work with the Wachowski.
The famous quote by Morpheus pulled over our eyes to blind us from the truth is a direct copy of Charle Peirce statement.

Communism
Some academics have argued that the Matrix series is consistent with a Marxist analysis of society. Professor Martin Danahay and then PhD candidate David Rieder co-wrote a chapter of the best-selling book The Matrix and Philosophy: Welcome to the Desert of the Real in which they argue that the movie gives a visual image of Marx’s ideas, particularly in the scene where Morpheus tells new recruit Neo that the computers have reduced him to nothing more than a battery.
Being slaves to the machine... "Humans in The Matrix must produce electricity to run the machines that enslave them, just as workers in Marx’s analysis must produce surplus value through their work," Danahay explained. "Also, the rebels in the movie liberate Morpheus from an office, and they rescue Neo from his white-collar job. The rebels are trying to get workers to wake up and realize they are being exploited, which is one of Marx’s aims, too.".
Danahy and Rider also argue that rebellion against the machines' domination is an analogy for the modern-day workplace with the evil agents dressed like corporate executives, and Neo escaping from his cubicle to escape them. When he ambushes the evil agents later in the movie, they are in an office high-rise complete with impersonal decor. (Source: Arlington Star-Telegram, June 10, 2003).
Similarly, the Maoist International Movement has adopted the Matrix as one of its favourite films asserting that they "could not have asked for more in a two and a half hour Hollywood movie" and views it as an exercise in dialectics in which a new mode of production is explored, the "battery mode of production".
The youth wing of the Russian Communist Party has also embraced the Matrix and its sequels with youth wing leader Oleg Bondarenko asserting there is "no difference" between Neo and Lenin as revolutionaries.
There are also elements of conspiracy theories. Similar to John Carpenter's They Live, the Matrix is presented as the 'System', which secretly controls everything and which, according to the theorists, will eventually consume everyone. In the Matrix, high positions in companies and organisations are held only by those who are part of the System (programs, like Smith or Ramakandra). The Agents are those who uphold the 'order' and keep the 'conspiracy' safe, like the Men in Black of pop culture.
Furthermore, the city of Zion is a communist city as it must be to allow the humans to survive. No form of money or commerce is ever seen, the public has access to food and facilities. The citizens share tasks and labor is volunteered as seen by Zee's shell making and no entity steals the labor of others. This is seen by some as primitive communism and by others as state level communism.

Science
Although sunlight could only dimly penetrate the atmosphere in the movie, it should be noted that the reason given in the movie for computers enslaving humans makes no sense from a thermodynamic(physical) point of view. The chemical energy required to keep a human being alive is vastly greater than the bio-electric or thermal energy that could be harvested; human beings, like all living beings, are not energy sources, but rather energy consumers. It would be vastly more effective to burn the organic matter to power a conventional electrical generator. Not even considering feeding the huge human capsulated civilization. Other power sources available could be used, such as geothermal energy or the heat generated by the dissipation of the tidal movements of the oceans and Earth's crust or any other not yet imagined sources.
Some people have pointed out the possibility that the laws of thermodynamics could work differently in real life than in the Matrix (to make it harder for people to suspect they are being used as a power source), or that the machines have technology not yet imaginable by humans, and thus the known laws of science are impossible to apply in this situation (Morpheus mentions that the human power source is "combined with a form of fusion"). Another possibility is that of the exploitation of latent electrokinetic abilities in human beings as demonstrated by Neo's destruction of a Sentinel in The Matrix Reloaded. On the other hand, Morpheus speaks of physical laws like gravity applying both to the real world and within its simulation, and the scenes we see within the real world are certainly consistent with physical laws as we know them. Entropy, however, can't be the machines' invention, because if it did not exist in their world, or if the direction of energy flow was sometimes concentrated instead of dissipated, the machines either could not exist, or would not require a constant source of energy to operate, mutually exclusive to the idea that humans blocked most sunlight from Earth to cut them off from their primary source of power.
Critical fans have speculated (see Krypto-revisionism) that the machines were actually using the humans' brains as components in a massively parallel neural network computer, and that the characters were simply mistaken about the purpose. A massively parallel neural network computer based on human brains might also be more energy-efficient to run than equivalent computer components, solving the thermodynamic paradox associated with the use of human bodies over conventional electrical generators. The characters' error would then be reflected in the "Zion Historical Archive" of "The Second Renaissance". In fact, this was very close to the original explanation. Because the writers felt that non-technical viewers would have trouble understanding this explanation, they abandoned it in favor of the "human power source" explanation. The neural-network explanation, however, is presented in the film's novelization and Neil Gaiman's short story "Goliath", featured on the Matrix website and in the first volume of The Matrix Comics.
It is also established later in the trilogy that the machines and humans are interdependent for reasons more philosophical than technological.

resources from wikipedia


Hung Up @ 9:47 pm

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My Ambitions(present)

1. Professional Sudokuist, able to finish Easy in 5min, Intermediate in 10min, Hard in 15min and Diabolical in 20min.

2. Pass my 'O' Level with 12points.
Eng-A2
Chinese-B3
E maths-A2
(Phy/Chem)-A1
(History/Social Studies)-A2
Geography-A2

3. To study in St. Andrews JC. Hoping to enter with 12 points, and reducing it further with loyalty and cca points.
Ideal subject combinations:
G.P.
Chinese
Chemistry
Geography
History

4.Professional Angelic Card and Tarot Card Reader
Being a new-ager, i would like to be one of the middlemen between the multi-dimensions. to assist and learn as you help is one way to evolve. To transmit an advice or guidance which can improve someone or an situation is really a wonderful experience. I had thought of doing this service in order to earn some extra cash. Whoever interested, inform me and i'll arrange it with you as soon as possible.

5. To have a meaningful, successful relationship with her
But, now its a challenge to court her. There's no peers support, she is skeptical, i'm more reserved than expressive in terms of feelings.(i dun usually behave accordingly to my feelings) I gone speechless and blush when she look at me.

6.Learning music and playing the piano
Its abit too late, but i'm trying to learn the theories of music and playing the piano. I'm inspired by the pieces of 'Variation on the Kanon' and 'Grieg's Concerto in A minor'. However, its always easy to say than done, and this time it can't be mind over matter. Music is not easy. I'm learning it without any instructors.

7. An above-average badminton player
I just love that sport alot. I enjoy it than any other sports(other than bowling and pool).


Hung Up @ 1:00 am

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Sudoku, Part III: The Mathematics behind the puzzle

Mathematics of Sudoku
The general problem of solving Sudoku puzzles on n² × n² boards of n × n blocks is known to be NP-complete. This gives some indication of why Sudoku is difficult to solve, although on boards of finite size the problem is finite and can be solved by a deterministic finite automaton. that knows the entire game tree.
Solving Sudoku puzzles can be expressed as graph-colouring problem. The aim of the puzzle in its standard form is to construct a proper 9-colouring of a particular graph, given a partial 9-colouring. The graph in question has 81 vertices, one vertex for each cell of the grid. The vertices can be labelled with the ordered pairs , where x and y are integers between 1 and 9. In this case, two distinct vertices labelled by and are joined by an edge.

The puzzle is then completed by assigning an integer between 1 and 9 to each vertex, in such a way that vertices that are joined by an edge do not have the same integer assigned to them.
A valid Sudoku solution grid is also a Latin Square. There are significantly fewer valid Sudoku solution grids than Latin squares because Sudoku imposes the additional regional constraint. Nonetheless, the number of valid Sudoku solution grids for the standard 9×9 grid was calculated by Bertram Felgenhauer in 2005 to be 6,670,903,752,021,072,936,960 (sequence A107739 in OEIS). This number is equal to 9! × 72² × 27 × 27,704,267,971, the last factor of which is prime. The result was derived through logic and brute force computation. The derivation of this result was considerably simplified by analysis provided by Frazer Jarvis and the figure has been confirmed independently by Ed Russell. Russell and Jarvis also showed that when symmetries were taken into account, there were 5,472,730,538 solutions (sequence A109741 in OEIS). The number of valid Sudoku solution grids for the 16×16 derivation is not known.
The maximum number of givens that can be provided while still not rendering the solution unique is four short of a full grid; if two instances of two numbers each are missing and the cells they are to occupy form the corners of an orthogonal rectangle, and exactly two of these cells are within one region, there are two ways the numbers can be assigned. Since this applies to Latin squares in general, most variants of Sudoku have the same maximum. The inverse problem—the fewest givens that render a solution unique—is unsolved, although the lowest number yet found for the standard variation without a symmetry constraint is 17, a number of which have been found by Japanese puzzle enthusiasts, and 18 with the givens in rotationally symmetric cells.

resources from wikipedia


Hung Up @ 12:05 am

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Saturday, April 29, 2006

Sudoku, Part II: Solution Methods

Scanning
Scanning is performed at the outset and throughout the solution. Scans only have to be performed one time in between analysis periods. Scanning consists of two basic techniques:
Cross-hatching: the scanning of rows (or columns) to identify which line in a particular region may contain a certain numeral by a process of elimination. This process is then repeated with the columns (or rows). For fastest results, the numerals are scanned in order of their frequency. It is important to perform this process systematically, checking all of the digits 1–9.
Counting 1–9 in regions, rows, and columns to identify missing numerals. Counting based upon the last numeral discovered may speed up the search. It also can be the case (typically in tougher puzzles) that the easiest way to ascertain the value of an individual cell is by counting in reverse—that is, by scanning the cell's region, row, and column for values it cannot be, in order to see which is left.
Advanced solvers look for "contingencies" while scanning—that is, narrowing a numeral's location within a row, column, or region to two or three cells. When those cells all lie within the same row (or column) and region, they can be used for elimination purposes during cross-hatching and counting. Particularly challenging puzzles may require multiple contingencies to be recognized, perhaps in multiple directions or even intersecting—relegating most solvers to marking up (as described below). Puzzles which can be solved by scanning alone without requiring the detection of contingencies are classified as "easy" puzzles; more difficult puzzles, by definition, cannot be solved by basic scanning alone.

Marking up
Scanning stops when no further numerals can be discovered. From this point, it is necessary to engage in some logical analysis. Many find it useful to guide this analysis by marking candidate numerals in the blank cells. There are two popular notations: subscripts and dots.
In the subscript notation the candidate numerals are written in subscript in the cells. The drawback to this is that original puzzles printed in a newspaper usually are too small to accommodate more than a few digits of normal handwriting. If using the subscript notation, solvers often create a larger copy of the puzzle or employ a sharp or mechanical pencil.
The second notation uses a pattern of dots within each square, where the position of the dot represents a number from 1 to 9. Dot schemes differ and one method is illustrated here. The dot notation has the advantage that it can be used on the original puzzle. Dexterity is required in placing the dots, since misplaced dots or inadvertent marks inevitably lead to confusion and may not be easy to erase without adding to the confusion. Using a sharp pencil with an eraser end is recommended.

An alternative technique, that some find easier, is to "mark up" those numerals that a cell cannot be. Thus a cell will start empty and as more constraints become known it will slowly fill. When only one mark is missing, that has to be the value of the cell. One advantage to this method of marking is that, assuming no mistakes are made and the marks can be overwritten with the value of a cell, there is no longer a need for any erasures.
When using marking, additional analysis can be performed. For example, if a digit appears only one time in the mark-ups written inside one region, then it is clear that the digit should be there, even if the cell has other digits marked as well.

Analysis
The two main approaches to analysis are "candidate elimination" and "what-if".
In "candidate elimination", progress is made by successively eliminating candidate numerals from one or more cells to leave just one choice. After each answer has been achieved, another scan may be performed—usually checking to see the effect of the contingencies.
One method of candidate elimination works by identifying "matched cells". Cells are said to be matched within a particular row, column, or region (scope) if two cells contain the same pair of candidate numerals (p,q) and no others, or if three cells contain the same triplet of candidate numerals (p,q,r) and no others. The placement of these numerals anywhere else within that same scope would make a solution for the matched cells impossible; thus, the candidate numerals (p,q,r) appearing in unmatched cells in that same row, column or region (scope) can be deleted.
This principle also works with candidate numeral subsets, that is, if three cells have candidates (p,q,r), (p,q), and (q,r) or even just (p,r), (q,r), and (p,q), all of the set (p,q,r) elsewhere within that same scope can be deleted. The principle is true for all quantities of candidate numerals.
A second related principle is also true. If, within any set of cells (row, column or region), a set of candidate numerals can only appear within a number of cells equal to the quantity of candidate numerals, the cells and numerals are matched and only those numerals can appear in the matched cells. Other candidates in the matched cells can be eliminated. For example, if the 2 numerals (p,q) can only appear in 2 cells within a specific set of cells (row, column or region), all other candidates in those 2 cells can be eliminated.
The first principle is based on cells where only matched numerals appear. The second is based on numerals that appear only in matched cells. The validity of either principle is demonstrated by posing the question, 'Would entering the eliminated numeral prevent completion of the other necessary placements?' If the answer to the question is 'Yes,' then the candidate numeral in question can be eliminated. Advanced techniques carry these concepts further to include multiple rows, columns, and regions.
In the "what-if" approach, a cell with only two candidate numerals is selected, and a guess is made. The steps above are repeated unless a duplication is found or a cell is left with no possible candidate, in which case the alternative candidate is the solution. In logical terms, this is known as reductio ad absurdum. Nishio is a limited form of this approach: for each candidate for a cell, the question is posed: will entering a particular numeral prevent completion of the other placements of that numeral? If the answer is yes, then that candidate can be eliminated. The what-if approach requires a pencil and eraser. This approach may be frowned on by logical purists as trial and error (and most published puzzles are built to ensure that it will never be necessary to resort to this tactic) but it can arrive at solutions fairly rapidly.
Ideally one needs to find a combination of techniques which avoids some of the drawbacks of the above elements. The counting of regions, rows, and columns can feel boring. Writing candidate numerals into empty cells can be time-consuming. The what-if approach can be confusing unless you are well organised. The proverbial Holy Grail is to find a technique which minimizes counting, marking up, and rubbing out.

resources from wikipedia


Hung Up @ 11:44 pm

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Sudoku, Part I : Introduction

Here's some information regarding my favourite puzzle, Sudoku.

The puzzle is most frequently a 9×9 grid, made up of 3×3 subgrids called "regions" (other terms include "boxes", "blocks", and the like when referring to the standard variation; even "quadrants" is sometimes used, despite this being an inaccurate term for a 9×9 grid). Some cells already contain numerals, known as "givens" (or sometimes as "clues"). The goal is to fill in the empty cells, one numeral in each, so that each column, row, and region contains the numerals 1–9 exactly once. Each numeral in the solution therefore occurs only once in each of three "directions" or "scopes", hence the "single numbers" implied by the puzzle's name.

The attraction of the puzzle is that the rules are simple, yet the line of reasoning required to reach the solution may be complex. Sudoku is recommended by some teachers as an exercise in logical reasoning. The level of difficulty of the puzzles can be selected to suit the audience. The puzzles are often available free from published sources and may also be custom-generated using software.

resources from wikipedia


Hung Up @ 11:38 pm

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Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Dislikes

Her hostility
Her frown
No one( rejecting someone is to reject a creation of the Oneness)
being fearful
being shy
being low self-esteem
being under to confront her
being under able to look into her eyes
unable to face the many truths
being agitated
the fact that she had no feelings for me
Stress(excessive)


Hung Up @ 10:18 pm

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Likes

Her
My painting of her(only through it i can communicate with her)
All my subjects
Everyone( i bear no grudges)
Myself
My PS2
My Samsung ultra slim DVD-player
My Samsung 40-inch TV
My Muvo N200 Mp3-player
My Finepix digital camera
My room
My paintbrush and acrylic paint sets
My inert gas pendant
My deck of tarot
My deck of angelic oracle cards
My soul cleansing CD
Playing Variations on the Kanon(spent 5 months memorising it)
My co-curriculum organization
My class
My tuitions
My work
My dreams(only through it i can communicate with her)
The set of books that equiped me with priceless knowledge
My friends through out the globe
valuable experiences and lessons
this blog
the photos i had taken


Hung Up @ 9:47 pm

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Saturday, April 22, 2006

Sunset
Isn't it awesome...
I took that outside my house.
Its a sunset, with dark gray heavy clouds.
What mood you feel when you look at this pic?


Hung Up @ 7:38 pm

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Locus Iste(Sanctus)
As heard in this blog
Composed by: Robert Prizeman
Sung by: A choir group known as Libera

Locus iste a deo factus est,
In estimabile sacramentum

Sanctus, Sanctus

Benedictus qui venit in Domine

Sanctus Dominus Deus Sabbaoth
Pleni sunt coeli et terra Gloria

Benedictus in nomine
Qui venit in nomine


Hung Up @ 6:37 pm

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Onara: Theme song of The Jewel in the Palace
Composed by: Se-Hyeon Im

Onara(translation)
Onara onara aju ona
Gadara gadara aju gana
Nanari daryeodo mot nonani
Aniri aniri ani none
He-i-ya di-i-ya heiyadara nino
Ojido mothana daryeo gama
Eya diya eyanara niyo
Ojido mothana daryeo gama

Onara in Hangul
오나라 오나라 아주 오나
가다라 가다라 아주 가나
나나니 다려도 못 노나니
아니리 아니리 아니 노네
헤이야 디이야 헤이야다라 니노
오지도 못하나 다려 가마
에야 디야 에야나라 니요
오지도 못하나 다려 가마

Onara in English
If asked to come, will he really come?
If asked to leave, will he really leave?
Even after waiting for countless days, we will not be together
Nay, nay, it is nay
chorus
You cannot come, so take me instead
chorus
You cannot come, so take me instead


Hung Up @ 6:24 pm

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Saturday, April 15, 2006

True Courage

Courage isn't the absence of fear. Courage is the willingness to recognize what is truly important.

In cowardice, one is mislead by false ideas to betray one's own true self, one's own Love. This leads one further and further away from oneself. It is actualy the Self, that one is running away from.

In Courage, one takes up the willingness to simply recognize, that only Love is real, only Love truly matters, and hence it is but a natural consequence, that one carries out what is truly important, the act of Courage, in a natural expression or service of this Love.



Hung Up @ 9:35 pm

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What's your personal sexual orientation

In total, there are 14 types of people. (In the following statements, when the word "like" is used, it means "sexually attracted to".)

1) Males who feel they are a male soul in a male body and like males.
2) Males who feel they are a female soul in a male body and like males.
3) Males who feel they are a male soul in a male body and like females.
4) Males who feel they are a female soul in a male body and like females.
5) Females who feel they are a male soul in a female body and like males.
6) Females who feel they are a female soul in a female body and like males.
7) Females who feel they are a male soul in a female body and like females.
8) Females who feel they are a female soul in a female body and like females.
9) Males who feel they are a male soul in a male body and like both males & females.
10) Males who feel they are a female soul in a male body and like both males & females.
11) Females who feel they are a male soul in a female body and like both males & females.
12) Females who feel they are a female soul in a female body and like both males & females.
13) Males who feel their soul is both male and female, but are in a male body and like both males & females.
14) Females who feel their soul is both male and female, but are in a female body and like both males & females.


One's sexual orientation is a complex matter which is influenced or partially determined by *many* factors, including biological genetics (DNA) of your physical body; biochemical and hormonal factors (there are chemicals that can alter sexual behaviour), also partially affected by family (eg. parental factor) and other psychological or societal factors, while growing up; and very importantly, it is also determined by the qualities of your own higher self or soul (while all souls are both simultaneously male and female, a soul who's lived many lifetimes as a male, when incarnating as a female for a first time, may naturally have masculine, lesbian tendencies), and finally can also be determined by your own free will (yes, you can choose to develop, focus, or express various aspects of your sexuality more than others).

Which of the above 14 types are you? Ask yourself honestly, and no matter what your choice is, the only important thing is that you unconditionally love yourself and be comfortable with your sexual orientation, no matter what it is, no matter what you choose it to be. Be happy, be loving and be accepting, towards yourself and towards others. That's the most important thing.


Hung Up @ 8:54 pm

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Friday, April 14, 2006

Fire & Ice

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire,
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if I had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate.
To say thay for destruction ice,
Is also greatAnd would suffice.

Robert Frost


Hung Up @ 11:45 pm

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The Secret Sits

We dance round in a ring and suppose,

But the Secret sits in the middle and knows.

Robert Frost



Hung Up @ 11:40 pm

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Law of Reflection

When someone says you are useless,
It doesn't mean you are useless.
It means he/she is useless.

When someone says you are capable,
It doesn't mean you are capable.
It means he/she is capable.


Hung Up @ 10:57 pm

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It was Friday.It was also a day of
-Speech and Prize Presentation
-New experience
-Unexpected encounters
-Valuable lessons
-My day

Speech and Prize Presentation
That's what the day was all about. Many speeches were given by personnel people respected. Prizes were given to almost 10% of the school's population. I'm very glad i was one of them. If not, i wouldn't had gone up stage, and caught her attention once again. Well, if only my assumption was true. Only she knows. Able to see my friends going up to collect their fruit of labour,too, had widen the smile on my face. I'm happy for them. Although we are just acquaintants in your eyes, we know each other for four years, i can see the joy in them and how much they appreciate their awards, just like how i felt.

New Experience
For the 1st time, i'm appointed a role that seems important. that's a new and wonderful experience, its memorable, its enriching. Its a new and wonderful experience to be a contingent commander and prize winner on speech day. I was promoted on that day too. I questioned myself on that day,' Do i deserve this?', 'Should i be given a higher or lower rank than what was given to me', 'Does this reflects well on my contribution?' Such self-inquiry are indeed self-engaging and powerful.

Unexpected Encounters
Well, this section is quite sensitive. I shall disclaim that what i will write are base on words that were passed to me, and not on 1st hand experience. If there is any mistakes or uncertainties, please ignore it and don't let it affect you negatively or in any other manner.

An incident had broke out,
It was the aftermath of a wonderful day.
Unity and Joy occupied the front,
Only to let Disappointment be the conclusion.

The pieces were torn,
just like my fragmented mind.
why were they then?
Questioned my mind.

juniors are innocent,
innocent is bliss.
Bliss is love,
love often disguise.

Clarity has yet being exothermic.

Not again. my thoughts became stanzas. It always happen when i'm too emotional and lost for words. My apologies if those reading it can't interpret it. Maybe after u had finish reading the entire post, then you'll realise my thoughts.

Valuable lesson
That day was where many lessons were learnt. For me, i had learn from my instructors and officers that help and assistantiality exist. They had people meant to be valued and learn from.For its our nature to love and care for others. A bully's ally will become yours instead if he/she is clarified of the situation and make his/her decision wisely.
I had also felt the respect given to me, by my juniors,by my friends, by my officers, by my instructors. However, there's always a black sheep in a family. And this particular one hadn't given me any respect more or equal to what others had given me. Well, so be it. I'm contented by them. You shall make no difference.

I had also learnt from my senior's lesson. Tit for Tat. Truthfully, it was materialised on her. Hope she learn the lesson that she had, and which i had learnt from her.

I also learnt another lesson, which was from my junior. Self-reflection. Maybe she herself doesn't know it consciously, but her actions taught me. She realized her mistakes and amend for it. Sounds simple yet its not easy.

My Day
Yes! Indeed it was one of my happiest day i had in my last year in that school.


Hung Up @ 9:18 pm

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