They'll hang up their halo

CountDown

2006-11-14T22:11:00.000+08:00

Get your own countdown at BlingyBlob.com

Cloudie

2006-10-30T16:15:00.000+08:00

We regret to inform that Cloudie has just died a most tragic, horrible, painful death.

Law of Relection

2006-10-09T23:02:00.000+08:00

Hilarion on Relationships & Law of Reflection

"It is always really something *about yourself*, whenever you want something, about someone or any situation, and not actually about the other person or the situation. And from understanding this, when you are then able to identify the deeper love, you then have also manifested for yourself, the opportunity to grow, expand and evolve." -
Hilarion (a personal Hilarion Reading 2006)

"What Relationship, is really about, is recognizing that in the other person, is *you*. When you look at others and their issues, that somehow there is in you, the person who has struggled around these or other issues. Acknowledging this and understanding this, is the greatest lesson in being with other people. You do this in Relationship, when you see that somehow that which is represented, though seemingly outside of you, in the other person, it *is* you. It is a part of your own being, that is what attracts you to that person, that is what you're here to learn, understand, forgive, work with, improve and evolve in yourself." -
Hilarion (Spring Equinox 2006 Channeling)

Country Man and City Wife (Unfaithfulness)

2006-10-07T22:02:00.000+08:00

Neo Speaking,

Once upon a time, there was a country man who came to the city to earn a living. He soon found a renowned boss in the city and worked for him. Knowing little about the ways of the city folks, he fell in love with a city girl and married her. After the marriage, he continued to work for his boss, but soon started to be absent from work regularly.

His wife was accustomed to doing whatever she wanted. Even though she was now a married woman, she was not loyal and faithful. Instead, she fooled around constantly behind her husband’s back.

Now, his wife had this habit of behaving very humbly towards her husband each time she came home from a secret rendezvous with a boyfriend. She spoke softly, was all demure and gentle, and tried very hard to please her husband. But on other days, when she had done nothing wrong, she was rude and domineering. She yelled at her husband and nagged at him. This drove the man crazy. He was completely confused by how different she behaved from one day to the next.

The countryman was so disturbed that he stayed away from work. And when he stayed at home, he discovered that his wife was unfaithful to him. He was so upset that he missed work for many days.

When he finally showed up, his boss asked: “Young man, you have been away for so long. What happened?” “Sir, my wife is cheating on me. She is as meek as a mouse on days when she did something wrong, but on other days. She is arrogant, domineering, rough and rude. I cannot figure her out. I do not know what to do or where to go for help. That is why I could not turn up for work,” he replied forlornly.

“Young man, do not worry. Rivers can be bathed in by anyone, rich or poor. Highways too are open to all. Generous people build roadside rest houses to gain merit, and anyone can sleep there. Likewise, all are welcome to take water from the village well,” said the wise boss.

“Similarly, there are some women who just cannot stay faithful to one man, and love to have more than one partner. That is just the way some people are. It is hard to understand why they act this way, but why do you get angry about things that you cannot change?”

“Your wife behaves submissively on days when she did wrong, and behaves rudely on days when she has done nothing wrong. That is just the way some people are. So why do you get angry about things that you cannot change?”

Accept her as she is. Treat her in the same understanding and compassionate way, whether she is kind or mean to you. Why do you get angry about things that you cannot change?”

The country man took heed of his boss advice. In time, his wife behavior no longer upset him. The wife, on the other hand, gave up her boyfriends and amended her ways when she realized her wantonness was made public.

************************************************************************************
Are you the country man? Are you the city girl? Or are you the wise boss?

The moral of the story: Compassion and Empathy help relieve one’s suffering.

Desire enslaves, Wisdom and Love liberates

2006-10-06T21:09:00.000+08:00

Neo speaking,

Once upon a time, there was a young man who gave up his entire inheritance, upon completing his education, and left the mundane world to become a holy man who lived alone in the Holy Forest. After meditating for a long period of time, he developed strong psychic powers, and was filled with inner bliss.

One day, the holy man travelled to the city of Menarls when he ran out of provisions. He spent his first night in the royal garden of Menarls. The next morning, after he had washed himself, tied his tangled hair into a knot on top of his head and dressed in a black antelope skin, he folded up the robe which he usually wore which was made of red bark, and went to the city to collect alms food.

While the ascetic was on his way to the city, King Menule caught a glimpse of the holy man when he passed by the palace gate. "This man is a perfect picture of complete calmness and serenity," thought the kinf when he saw demeanour of the holy man.

He, then, had his servants invite the holy man into the palace, seat him on a luxurious couch and offer him an abundance of the very best foods around. When the holy man thanked the king, the king said: "You are welcome to live in my royal garden permanently. I will provide you with all the necessity you need. By doing this, may i gain merit leading to a good reincarnation in a heavenly world."

The holy man accepted his kind offer. He spent the next 16 years staying in the royal garden of Menarls. During that time, he taught all of the royal family members, and received necessities from the king to live.

One day, King Menule had to leave for the borders to quell a revolt that was arising there. Before he left, he instructed Queen Tender-Heart to care for the needs of the holy man. Diligently, the queen prepared food for the holy man everyday.

One day, the ascetic was late for his meal. While waiting for the holy man, Queen Tender-Heart decided to use the time to take a perfumed bath, refresh herself and change into fine clothes and jewellery, before laying down on a couch.

Meanwhile, the ascetic had been meditating ina particularly joyful mental state. When he realised how late it was, he used the powers he had acquired through meditation to transport himself back to the palace.

When Queen Tender-Heart heard the rustling sound made by his bark robe, she rose quickly from her couch. In her haste to receive him, her blouse accidentally slipped down for a moment - and the holy man caught a quick glance of this from the window as he entered. He was surprised by the unusual sight of the queens great beauty.

Lust, which had been subdued and not erased, surfaced within him. It was just like a cobra rising and spreading its hood from the basket in which it was kept. He lost his purity of mind completely. He was wounded, like a crow with its wings clipped.

The holy man could not eat his food. He took it back to his dwelling in the royal garden, and placed it under his bed. His mind was enslaved by the fleeting sight he caught of the queens loveliness. His heart was burning with desire. He remained on his bed, without eating or drinking, for the next seven days.

Finally, the king came back from his expedition. He circled the city and then went dirctly to visit the holy man. Seeing him in bed, he thought that the holy man was sick. So the king ordered everyone out of the room and sat down next to him. While massaging the holy mans feet, he asked: "Reverend sir, what happened to you? Are you ill?"

The holy man replied: "Oh great king, I am plagued by the sickness of craving and lust."

"What is it that you crave for?" asked the king.

"Queen Tender-Heart, my lord"

"Your reverence," said the king. "I will give Tender-Heart to you. Come with me."

When they arrived at the palace, King Manule had his queen dressed in her finest clothes and jewellery. Then the king gave her away and she left the palace with the holy man.

When they passed through the main gate, she turned to the holy man and said: "We must have a house to live in. Go back and ask the king for one." So he backtracked his steps, returned to the king and asked him for a house. The king gave them a tiny run-down hut that people had been using as an outhouse. But when the holy man took the queen to their new home, she refused to enter.

"Why, my dear?" he asked.

"Cannot you see it is filthy! Go back to the king and get a shovel and basket," she said.

He obeyed and when he returned, she ordered him to do all the cleaning. He even had to plaster the walls and floor with fresh cow dung!

When he had finished those chores, she commanded him to go to the palace and get her a bed, then a chair, then a lamp, bedlinen, a cooking pot and a water pot. She ordered him to get all these things one at a time, and each time he obeyed dutifully. She sent him to get water for her bath and many other things. He set out the water for her bath and then made up the bed. Finally, they sat down next to each other on the bed. Suddenly, she grabbed him by the whiskers, shook him back and forth, pulled him towards her and said: "Do not you remember that you are a holy man and a priest?"

Only then did he jolted out of his mad infatuation and realised the state he was in.

"Oh, what have become of me! I have been blinded by my desire into behaving like a slave. Although it all first started with a sight of a woman, this mad craving could lead me into pits of hells. My body was burning, as if I had been shot in the heart with an arrow of desire, yet there was no bleeding wound! Not seeing her body for what it really was, my own foolishness caused all my sufferings!"

Then he spoke out loudly: "On this very day, I will return Queen Tender-Heart to the King. And I will fly back to my home in the forest!"

Saying that, he took her back to the king." Great king, I do not want your queen anymore. Before I had her, she was my only desire. After I got her, one desire led to another, leading only

to a bottomless hell."

In perfect calmness, the holy man rose into the air, preached to the king, and then magically flew back to the Holy Forests. He never returned to the ordinary world again. After meditating for years in peace and joy, he died and was reborn in one of the higher levels of the heavenly worlds.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

What feelings you felt for the holy man after you had read the story?

Did you reflect yourself upon the story?

Did you put youself into the holy mans shoe?

What do you think is the moral of the story?

The moral of the story is: Desire enslaves us, but wisdom and love liberates us.

The Long Awaited Smile

2006-09-30T17:49:00.000+08:00

The long awaited Smile

As i walked pass the second class,

Her, a beautiful girl caught my eye.

As i cherish my hastened glance,

Her beauty arrested my heart.

As rapid as i saw her sight,

Her senses sense it just as fast.

As eye contact was made at once,

Her radiance smile soon appeared up.

As such beauty astounded me,

Her, i corresponded with a smile.

As galvanising her smile is,

Her eyes, too, were wonders.

As slowly as i continues to walk away,

Her splendid visions begans to drift away.

As this memoir is unforgettable,

Her beauty is, extraordinary.

Dr. Phil's Ten Life Laws

2006-09-22T23:57:00.000+08:00

Dr. Phil's Ten Life Laws

Life Law #1: You either get it or you don't.
Strategy: Become one of those who gets it.

It's easy to tell these people apart. Those who "get it" understand how things work and have a strategy to create the results they want. Those who don't are stumbling along looking puzzled, and can be found complaining that they never seem to get a break.

You must do what it takes to accumulate enough knowledge to "get it." You need to operate with the information and skills that are necessary to win. Be prepared, tune in, find out how the game is played and play by the rules.

In designing a strategy and getting the information you need — about yourself, people you encounter, or situations — be careful from whom you accept input. Wrong thinking and misinformation can seal your fate before you even begin.

Life Law #2: You create your own experience.
Strategy: Acknowledge and accept accountability for your life. Understand your role in creating results.

You cannot dodge responsibility for how and why your life is the way it is. If you don't like your job, you are accountable. If you are overweight, you are accountable. If you are not happy, you are accountable. You are creating the situations you are in and the emotions that flow from those situations.

Don't play the role of victim, or use past events to build excuses. It guarantees you no progress, no healing, and no victory. You will never fix a problem by blaming someone else. Whether the cards you've been dealt are good or bad, you're in charge of yourself now.

Every choice you make — including the thoughts you think — has consequences. When you choose the behavior or thought, you choose the consequences. If you choose to stay with a destructive partner, then you choose the consequences of pain and suffering. If you choose thoughts contaminated with anger and bitterness, then you will create an experience of alienation and hostility. When you start choosing the right behavior and thoughts — which will take a lot of discipline — you'll get the right consequences.

Life Law #3: People do what works.
Strategy: Identify the payoffs that drive your behavior and that of others.

Even the most destructive behaviors have a payoff. If you did not perceive the behavior in question to generate some value to you, you would not do it. If you want to stop behaving in a certain way, you've got to stop "paying yourself off" for doing it.

Find and control the payoffs, because you can't stop a behavior until you recognize what you are gaining from it. Payoffs can be as simple as money gained by going to work to psychological payoffs of acceptance, approval, praise, love or companionship. It is possible that you are feeding off unhealthy, addictive and imprisoning payoffs, such as self-punishment or distorted self-importance.

Be alert to the possibility that your behavior is controlled by fear of rejection. It's easier not to change. Try something new or put yourself on the line. Also consider if your need for immediate gratification creates an appetite for a small payoff now rather than a large payoff later.

Life Law #4: You cannot change what you do not acknowledge.
Strategy: Get real with yourself about life and everybody in it. Be truthful about what isn't working in your life. Stop making excuses and start making results.

If you're unwilling or unable to identify and consciously acknowledge your negative behaviors, characteristics or life patterns, then you will not change them. (In fact, they will only grow worse and become more entrenched in your life.) You've got to face it to replace it.

Acknowledgment means slapping yourself in the face with the brutal reality, admitting that you are getting payoffs for what you are doing, and giving yourself a no-kidding, bottom-line truthful confrontation. You cannot afford the luxury of lies, denial or defensiveness.

Where are you now? If you hope to have a winning life strategy, you have to be honest about where your life is right now. Your life is not too bad to fix and it's not too late to fix it. But be honest about what needs fixing. If you lie to yourself about any dimension of your life, an otherwise sound strategy will be compromised.

Life Law #5: Life rewards action.
Strategy: Make careful decisions and then pull the trigger. Learn that the world couldn't care less about thoughts without actions.

Talk is cheap. It's what you do that determines the script of your life. Translate your insights, understandings and awareness into purposeful, meaningful, constructive actions. They are of no value until then. Measure yourself and others based on results — not intentions or words.

Use any pain you have to propel you out of the situation you are in and to get you where you want to be. The same pain that burdens you now could be turned to your advantage. It may be the very motivation you need to change your life.

Decide that you are worth the risk of taking action, and that your dreams are not to be sold out. Know that putting yourself at risk may be scary, but it will be worth it. You must leave behind the comfortable and familiar if you are to move onward and upward.

Life Law #6: There is no reality, only perception.
Strategy: Identify the filters through which you view the world. Acknowledge your history without being controlled by it.

You know and experience this world only through the perceptions that you create. You have the ability to choose how you perceive any event in your life, and you exercise this power of choice in every circumstance, every day of your life. No matter what the situation, you choose your reaction, assigning meaning and value to an event.

We all view the world through individual filters, which influence the interpretations we give events, how we respond, and how we are responded to. Be aware of the factors that influence the way you see the world, so you can compensate for them and react against them. If you continue to view the world through a filter created by past events, then you are allowing your past to control and dictate both your present and your future.

Filters are made up of fixed beliefs, negative ideas that have become entrenched in your thinking. They are dangerous because if you treat them as fact, you will not seek, receive or process new information, which undermines your plans for change. If you "shake up" your belief system by challenging these views and testing their validity, the freshness of your perspective can be startling.

Life Law #7: Life is managed; it is not cured.
Strategy: Learn to take charge of your life and hold on. This is a long ride, and you are the driver every single day.You are a life manager, and your objective is to actively manage your life in a way that generates high-quality results.

You are your own most important resource for making your life work. Success is a moving target that must be tracked and continually pursued.

Effective life management means you need to require more of yourself in your grooming, self-control, emotional management, interaction with others, work performance, dealing with fear, and in every other category you can think of. You must approach this task with the most intense commitment, direction and urgency you can muster.

The key to managing your life is to have a strategy. If you have a clear-cut plan, and the courage, commitment and energy to execute that strategy, you can flourish. If you don't have a plan, you'll be a stepping stone for those who do. You can also help yourself as a life manager if you manage your expectations. If you don't require much of yourself, your life will be of poor quality. If you have unrealistic standards, then you are adding to your difficulties.

Life Law #8: We teach people how to treat us.
Strategy: Own, rather than complain about, how people treat you. Learn to renegotiate your relationships to have what you want.

You either teach people to treat you with dignity and respect, or you don't. This means you are partly responsible for the mistreatment that you get at the hands of someone else. You shape others' behavior when you teach them what they can get away with and what they cannot.

If the people in your life treat you in an undesirable way, figure out what you are doing to reinforce, elicit or allow that treatment. Identify the payoffs you may be giving someone in response to any negative behavior. For example, when people are aggressive, bossy or controlling — and then get their way — you have rewarded them for unacceptable behavior.

Because you are accountable, you can declare the relationship "reopened for negotiation" at any time you choose, and for as long as you choose. Even a pattern of relating that is 30 years old can be redefined. Before you reopen the negotiation, you must commit to do so from a position of strength and power, not fear and self-doubt.

Life Law #9: There is power in forgiveness.
Strategy: Open your eyes to what anger and resentment are doing to you. Take your power back from those who have hurt you.

Hate, anger and resentment are destructive, eating away at the heart and soul of the person who carries them. They are absolutely incompatible with your own peace, joy and relaxation. Ugly emotions change who you are and contaminate every relationship you have. They can also take a physical toll on your body, including sleep disturbance, headaches, back spasms, and even heart attacks.

Forgiveness sets you free from the bonds of hatred, anger and resentment. The only way to rise above the negatives of a relationship in which you were hurt is to take the moral high ground, and forgive the person who hurt you.

Forgiveness is not about another person who has transgressed against you; it is about you. Forgiveness is about doing whatever it takes to preserve the power to create your own emotional state. It is a gift to yourself and it frees you. You don't have to have the other person's cooperation, and they do not have to be sorry or admit the error of their ways. Do it for yourself.

Life Law #10: You have to name it before you can claim it.
Strategy: Get clear about what you want and take your turn.

Not knowing what you want — from your major life goals to your day-to-day desires — is not OK. The most you'll ever get is what you ask for. If you don't even know what it is that you want, then you can't even ask for it. You also won't even know if you get there!

By being specific in defining your goal, the choices you make along the way will be more goal-directed. You will recognize which behaviors and choices support your goals — and which do not. You will know when you are heading toward your goal, and when you are off track.

Be bold enough to reach for what will truly fill you up, without being unrealistic. Once you have the strength and resolve enough to believe that you deserve what it is that you want, then and only then will you be bold enough to step up and claim it. Remember that if you don't, someone else will.

Wake me up when September ends...

2006-09-15T22:07:00.000+08:00

Wei Ren speaking,

What a bumpy life i had for these past two weeks, ever since 1st of september...
And 14 days later, i still wish to dissolve this two weeks and go back to the past and alter it.
Within this 14 days, i was greatly tormented. These tortures don't come all at once, but is accumulated and left to strain.

First it was hurt from whom i love.Followed by myself. Then simultaneously, 2 of my dear schoolmates who helped me, and one of my classmate as well.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I was hurt from whom i love, not by her reactions on that day. But rather, why must she react that way. I tried to seek out a reason in me. What had i done to scare her? All this while, did i pop out suddenly to confess my feelings for you? Did i even stalk her for that matter? The answer is NO.

All this while, i didn't make my feelings known to you openly. For i'm aware that i'll be scaring you. Yea, why weren't we friends in the first place? This question really drags me down. Because the answer to it is very unconvincing, even to me. I wonder what's wrong with me which leads to my failure to befriend her.

Until now i still couldn't find an answer which could satisfy my tormented heart. I wonder why she's scared and put off by me. What had i done that scared her? How did i scared her? How did she got such a bad impression of me? I once arrived to a conclusion - she judge a book by its cover. Immediately i cleared that thought off my mind, as i believe she's not that kind of girl and i know she really isn't. Later on, it only puzzles me more. If she doesn't want to befriend me not because of my looks, then could it be my personality that puts her off? Again, i refute myself. "How does she knows my character when we are not even friends?"

After think about it for so long, i came to realise that i'm just being too technical in my thinking. She doesn't have to dislike me for any particular reason. She doesn't need any reasons to not befriend me. She may dislike me for no particular reasons, or reasons that ain't logical at all! Just like how i fall for her which she finds irrational. Now this seems logical. As both our feelings for the other are indeed felt without reasons! Can you picture the irony?

This is what i'll do from now on. I'll respect whatever decision she makes. She doesn't want to talk to me, i'll respect that. She doesn't want to befriend me, i'll respect that. Saying these words are very hard for me. But this is what that needs to be done. For her sake, her happiness, i have to keep myself away from her. It breaks my heart just to imagine this- To be out of the sight of the loved one for her to be happy.

As i had mentioned, this love is irrational. Some said that it is her looks i'm after, not her. Utter Rubbish! I'm saying this at the very bottom of my heart, that is absolutely not true. Since it is irrational, everyone please stop questioning my love, since there isn't an answer i could provide you with. Sometimes, love is just blind.

I brood over that, maybe its my painting that scares her. Well, i feel hurt by it. Because it wasn't meant to scare her away from me. Why would i want to sabotage myself? Couldn't i even express my feelings for her on just an artpiece! It was just an alternative of expressing my love for her. And i thought even if it scares her, but by the fact that a portrait was done on her, she will appreciates it somehow. I had never regret painting the portrait. Sometimes i thought of destroying it when i'll feeling down, but after a while, i treasures it more than anything. Some thinks its foolish of me to do such things. Well, foolishness to me, does not include such things.

I may have respect her decision, which by doing so, will prevents me from getting close to her. But that doesn't mean i had lost all my love for her. That doesn't mean that i give up on her. What i'm doing is to respect her decision, because i love her, and not that i want to have her. But of course, i would love to have a relationship with her, even if its just friendship.

For whatever i do, you'll be affected by it in a negative manner and your impression of me will only worsen, hence, defeating its purpose. So there's really nothing i can do now to improve my relations with you, but to wait. I believe this doesn't end in the same year as our o levels ended in. In this matter, time does not induce oblivion, instead, is a medium.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

And for the other 2 dear schoolmates and a classmate of mine, this is my say about them.

I’ll begin with my dear classmate first. I’m not angry at her but I just want to clear things up. I wonder what makes her come to a conclusion that I’m a stalker. When she used that very word, my impression of her had changed. I used to think she’s a reasonable person, with a sense of justice and responsibility; knowing what’s right and wrong, and is very intelligent. I respected her for these qualities which make her outstanding from many of us.

But after she insulted me, I just felt that she had let herself down, for the sake of speaking up for her friend, against me.

For the sake of supporting her, and wanting to ease the hurt I caused her, she betrayed her good qualities and accuses me as a stalker. I wonder what to her does a stalker means. Did she ever catch me following her home? How she could when I did not do that before? So, she accuse without any grounds. By accusing me, she’s interfering into the matter, and worsening my image on others, especially the one whom I love. She knows that I’m her friend and classmate, who hasn’t trouble her at all. So why this accusation? Do I deserve it from her? I treated her like a friend and this is what I got in return.

If she or her friends read this, please know that I’m not taking any revenge. I had nothing against her. I still regard her as my friend. I just want to say my piece and we shall no longer pursue this matter alright. Because you’re really not involved in the situation. She may have told the one-sided story of the incident to many of our peers and classmates, its ok. I believe they can distinguish what’s true and what’s not. So please just stop these defamatory alright.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

As for the other 2 classmates of mine, I’ll speak about the one whom I feel is justifiable. In the past 2 weeks, it irks me to be unable to even say ‘hi’ to her. I really do not want to graduate and we ignored each other when we passed by in the streets next time. She helped me a lot during the incident and I trust her more than anyone else in the matter.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The latter had impacted me the most. At the beginning, I thought I had let myself down by hurting her a lot. I apologized and explained immediately and SINCERELY. It was clearly unintentional. The apology is of no avail. She said she doesn’t want to have anything to do with me, yet she hurt and insult me continuously.

Now I feels that it’s not that I let myself down because I unintentionally hurt her without my conscious knowing it, and also, I let myself down by being hurt by her.

I’m hurt that she don’t trust that my apology and explanation are sincere. I’m hurt by her insults and attitude towards me.

Here’s the thing, she intentionally hurts me for the hurt I caused her which was unintentional! Can you spot the irony!

So, to her, I’m the baddie and she’s the victim. To me, she’s the baddie and I’m the victim. Well since I couldn’t control her thinking, I can only change what’s on my side. Since it was unintentional, I don’t think I’m a baddie to her. As for her, she can continue to be my baddie but I’m not going to remain as her victim and be hurt by her.

Let’s look at it as another story. In a primary school class, a boy accidentally fell down onto his classmate after he was pushed very hard by a female classmate. The classmate was extremely hurt by the pain the boy caused as he was very heavy! The boy repeatedly apologized to her and explained that he did it unintentionally as he was too weak to resist the push from another female classmate and fall too easily. The classmate, who is not understanding and misunderstood that the boy was clearly out to take revenge on her for being hostile to him all this while. The classmate then disregarded him as friend and didn’t want to have anything to do with him anymore. But the classmate kicks him every time she saw him. The other classmates who saw the boy fell on her, too, had a wrong impression of him. Every time the boy was hurt when she kicks her, she felt relieved. She feels he deserve it and is actually taking revenge on him. So she’s taking revenge, while saying that she doesn’t want to have anything to do with him anymore? Isn’t it like a baddie who claims to stop his doings and yet continue his misconduct? Isn’t the classmate a bully and the boy, a victim of her? Can you spot the irony of the story? (This story is not one-sided and is really what’s happening.) And as everyone knows a bully is likely to be bullied before and that cause the bully to be a bully. I shall speak no further of it as it’s unfair to her and I don’t want to have another traumatic incident with her. Unless it means we become friends again.

She may think I’m selfish. Well, that’s true at that moment. Because at that time, it’s my feelings I’m most concerned of. Because these feelings are occupying and hurting me. That’s why I was blocked from feeling from others. And wasn’t intentional of hurting your feelings. I think selfish is not the right word. In this case, rash is. I was indeed behaving too rashly but not thinking carefully about my actions.

I’m saying this in the interest of fairness. She had posted about my unfortunate with the one whom I loved in one of her post too. She scolded me that I’m announcing to the whole word about her unfortunate with someone, yet before I did anything, she had already announced my unfortunate with the one whom I loved in her post, to the whole world. Isn’t this another irony? Fancy blaming someone his mistakes yet she committed the same mistakes before he did and yet doesn’t feel she’s in wrong. Isn’t it sheer hypocrisy? I did not scold her or tell her off when she posted my unfortunate, because I believe she had no intentions to go against me. I’m not saying this out to make you feel she’s the baddie and I’m the innocent one. I have my mistakes to learn, she had hers to learn.

She told me that she don’t want to be my friend anymore. Well, were we even friends? I don’t know. Maybe acquaintance, yes, but friends, not quite. No, its not that I don’t want to be friends with her, but we really aren’t. So if she felt that I’m hurting her as I treated her badly as her friend, why not she ask herself how she treated me and compare it with how I treated her. I won’t speak of how I was treated by her as it is pointless to. She knows it herself. So when she shouted to me that she doesn’t want to be my friend anymore, I was hurt not by the fact that she ‘unfriended’ me, but rather, that I made a new enemy. I’ll make it clear that she wants to be my enemy and not that I want to have her as an enemy. So, did she ever treat me as a friend? Only she knows the truth.

As for me, did I treat her as a friend? Well, we aren’t really close but I treated her to the best in the position that I’m in. Perhaps it’s because of the one whom I love that caused her to treat me that way yet calling herself as my friend. Well it’s ok. The only thing I know is that before the incident that happened 2 weeks ago, I had not let you down and hurt you before, and that I treated you far better than you treat me. Stating these matters out is not to provide me a reason to hurt you back. It’s just to let you know these facts before you give any attitude.

Throughout this week, with prelims at full force, you had affected my studies. Seriously I had let myself down for letting you affecting my studies. The one whom I love had always been my motivation to study, and you are hindering her motivation.

Now I’m all weak and stressed out. Every now and then thinking of how the one whom I love is going to feel about me and whether she had bad-mouthed me to her. As you know peer pressure is influential, if her friend hates me, she might probably end up hating me too. That is my worse nightmare!

I asked you once, ‘Why would I want to sabotage myself to have you as an enemy.’ As you were very angry at me, you denied the true answer which you know very well in yourself, and refuted me ‘You know it yourself!’ I thought you said that because you WANT to be angry at me and didn’t WANT to forgive me, as by believing that what I did to you was really unintentional, it means you are trusting me and forgiving me, which is what you don’t want to.

Seriously, the incident was actually just about me and the one whom I love. I really didn’t expect the incident to lead to another incident. Its like, from a situation that involved only me and the one whom I love, then you just pop up and make noise. I was like, earlier on I only had to worry about how to treat her and improving my relationship with the one whom I love. But after you scolded me, I had to worry about how to make her understand that I was unintentional as well.

Now let me ask you, you think I want to create more worries for myself? You think after my incident with the one whom I love, I still got the mood to be angry at her and want to provoke her? Moreover, she apologized to me and counseled me too. Would I be so cruel and evil to hurt you when you apologized and counseled me? I don’t see any logic in it. I was so grateful and appreciative when her apologized and counseled me. I don’t know just what makes you think that I’m all out to hurt her from then on. She provides me with a lot of stress and burden, while I’m facing my prelims. As I kept trying to think of a way to seek her forgiveness and understanding. This paragraph and the one before is meant to convince her why I was unintentional of hurting her. I hope that after she read this paragraph, she will come to a point of clarity and realize that this is just a misunderstanding.

Right now I’m just too tired. I’m too tired to think of a way to seek your forgiveness and understanding. I feel its no point trying any further because since what’s done was done, and that by regretting it, it won’t improve the situation. I feel its no point trying harder as after all, she don’t trust me, she don’t respect me, and she don’t understands at all. Hence whatever I say, which is true and sincere, she won’t believe it. Her mentality told her in her mind this, ‘He is an a**hole! Don’t believe whatever he says! He’s lying to you! He stinks!’ Well, maybe there’s more but I really don’t know as I couldn’t read her mind.

She doesn’t want to forgive me because she wants me to suffer. She treated me like shit because she wants me to suffer. She wants me to suffer like how she’s suffering right now from her mishap. I know many of you (her and lots of other 3rd parties) will be pissed off when you read this. But, whether it’s true or not, only she knows herself. She will know it when she stops denying and deceiving herself about it. I’m not trying to say she’s evil and wants to see me suffer, but the fact is, this is partly the reason for not forgiving me.

Another reason for not forgiving me is peer pressure. Well, quite a number of her peers especially her classmates and schoolmates know about this incident. Now pride is the culprit. Because since every one of them thinks I’m in the wrong and she’s the victim. And they are all behind her supporting that he ought to be punished and influence her to treat him badly. And that if she were to forgive me, she will lose her pride from her peers because they will then think that she’s forgiving someone who does not deserve to be forgiven and that she forgives easily. So she wants to be tough and be feared. By doing so, she can’t bring herself to forgive me, and continues to deny that I was really unintentional. In other words, if she forgives me, she’ll be letting herself down, as well as her peers too. So please, don’t worry about peers. They will understand and respect her decision. Anyway, this peer pressure you had was just an impression you gave me. Whether it’s true or not that it applies to her, only she knows the truth. No one or any 3rd parties know the truth.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Why in the beginning, did I post the incident?

After the incident, I was very worn out. The bad memories of it kept occupying my mind. Those memories of the confrontation, when words said had hurt me a lot. The weight of these thoughts caused much friction in my mind and I can’t concentrate in other things. They might think that after they had talked to me I’ll feel better, but that’s not the case. Moreover, I didn’t have a chance to express my thoughts and views to them as I was too emotionally involved and my mind wasn’t responsive. Therefore, I post the incident so that I can leave all bad memories of it right there and provide a breathing space in my mind, and also for me to express my thoughts and views. Whatever you all saw about the incident is only less than 10%!!! What’s more, that particular part isn’t the most important. The most important part was the epilogue where I express my thoughts and views. The epilogue is the part I want to emphasis. Not the part where her mishap was mentioned! Since what you all had read is merely 10%, you all had only read partially about the incident, and not read the incident fully. I wrote the post half-way through as it was too long. Too much was spoken, too little time to type it out. Moreover, I’m going through the experience again, which takes up some time and emotion while typing. Whatever I post happened in reality. No truth was bent and no one-sided stuff.

Some said that I made it like a game when I formatted the situation into scenes. Pardon me in this case. As the incident was so traumatic and dramatic which I had never encountered before, too many emotions of mine had been put into the matter. Similarly, scenes are found in plays, which capture emotions of the performers and audiences throughout. Since the incident covered that aspect, shouldn’t it be alright to be made into scenes? In addition, the whole incident was so long. So having it broken down into scenes is just to make it easier to read and understand, and it’s like paragraphing it in a longer manner, instead of typing out one whole chunk of paragraphs which takes hours to read and understand. So I hope those who misunderstood that I treat the incident very lightly by making it into a ‘game’. I hope you’re clear about it and know that it’s more than a game to me.

Some said that it is wrong to post such a private conversation and even if I want to type out the incident, I should have done it privately. Regarding this, I really hope that you all understand that, the main objective of the post about the incident wasn’t about the conversation. Rather it is to say my piece, and to express my opinion, which, eventually I couldn’t post as I was forced to stop posting about the incident. I post the conversation was not to tell the whole world about what they had said. I changed their names, as I did concern about protecting their identities.

So it’s quite ironic, as I expected reactions to the post. As I expect positive reactions to my opinions and thoughts of the incident (which I ended up couldn’t post it at all), and not negative reaction about the conversation and what the other party said in that conversation. So everyone only thinks that I post the incident to hurt her. But the truth is, I post the incident so that I could express my views and relieve bad memories of it. So everyone really is giving their attention to the wrong part. And that cause everyone to misunderstand me that I want to hurt her, which leads to everyone having a wrong impression of me which leads to everyone being hostile to me. What a chain effect I had decoded. So right now I really hope you all could give your attention on the right part, and understand that I didn’t mean to hurt her and get the correct impression of me. Only then will there be peace.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

By the time you read this paragraph, I apologize for taking up so much of your time just to read it. I really hoped that those involved had read till this part and didn’t stop half-way. As for those ‘3rd parties’, if you really have to comment, please comment after you had read the whole of this post. And don’t just stop on the part which irritates you and start to comment without reading this post completely.

If you find my tone too harsh or angry at any part of this post, please pardon me. I’m not angry or having hard feelings. I’m just too tired and couldn’t compromise my feelings anymore. Seriously, this post is not meant to be offensive. It’s meant to clear the mess. So i hope that when they(the ones involved) will get more angry and be clear about it.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I know a handful of you out there think that I’m stepping two boats. I admit that I have feelings for both simultaneously at a point of time. But I gave up on the second because I just couldn’t let go of the first. I couldn’t bear to go any further than treating the second as a sister, as I still couldn’t suppress my persistence for the first. Hope the ‘first’ won’t be scared away or pissed off when you saw this.

Because it wasn’t meant to. I couldn’t figure out why one will be scared when she was told that someone had feelings for her and she got scared by those feelings for her. It’s like, by loving someone, you are scaring her. So does that mean that, by scaring someone, you are loving her? How ironic! So if you want to scare someone, you can either love her or just scare her, and you’ll succeed. But to love someone, you can’t love her and all the more can’t scare her, as she’ll be scared and you’ll lose your purpose of loving her and only hurt yourself deeper. Some said I took the wrong approach on her. Frankly, did I take any approach on her directly? It’s those who started gossiping about my feelings for her and cause her to be scared of me. I had never walked up in front of her and say ‘I Love You’, or any mushy things. Rather, it’s others who tried to exaggerate it and hence, scaring her off from me. So who’s the culprit that made her to be scared of me? Only the culprits know it themselves.

I really hope she will be clear about this. Because of this I’m still not your friend! Argghh!!! It’s driving me nuts!!! Of the whole express classes I had no problem to at least talk to them, but why it must be her whom I had problems with? How ironic. Can’t it be someone else I had problems with? Why must it be her! I always thought that what if I were to be in her class instead of mine? What if I’m as rich as him? What if I’m as hot as him? What if I’m as whatever as him? Then things won’t end up this way. I don’t know, I really don’t know. So she goes for looks? She goes for money? I don’t know, I really don’t know. And I don’t wish to know. But I believe she’s not that kind. But still I’m trying my very best of cutting phase(slimming down) and get some muscles as I know that, which gal doesn’t appreciates a hot body? Just give me some time alright? Three months. I’ll promise her that after three months from now, my appearance will of her liking. As for $$$, it’s not really a problem. I had been working in a job since two years ago, and I have no problem slogging in a job to earn big bucks (although it’s not a lot). And isn’t it more meaningful to spend my own hard-earned money on her instead of spending on my pocket money provided by my parents on her?

Anyone can go ahead to comment that I’m just being naïve, that I believe things are so simple and that good things always happen. Well, things like these are never simple and good things do always happen. When good things doesn’t happen to you doesn’t mean good things doesn’t happen to others. Say someone is naïve if you really are one who is very experienced in life, if not; it’s really unfair to use that word.

I’m tired and exhausted. I’m as scared as she does. When they told me she had mixed feelings for me, I was overjoyed! As it means although she had bad feelings for me, she also has good feelings for me! But after the incident with the other person, I feel that her good feelings she had for me were short-lived and had died.

I'm drained out from these people, these events and nevertheless, the prelims... What more to come, the o levels and of course, my Zacharian Makeover. I just feel like taking a break before it. So wake me up when September ends.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

What will she reply to a prom date with me?
Ha-ha! Hopeless!
Look who I’m asking,
The prom-queen to be!
Look who she rejects,
Probably a fool he is!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Other accessories

2006-09-12T20:09:00.000+08:00

Here's other stuffs in use with the Kit.

Nike Men's Structured Training Glove

The Nike men's Structured Training Gloves offer flexible, comfortable protection with 3-mm palm padding and a 2-piece synthetic leather palm. The 1-piece Dri-FIT® fabric body wicks away moisture to keep your skin cool and dry. The articulated-thumb design and flex grooves on the palm and fingers provide flexibility with improved control. The semi-rigid wrist with adjustable closure stays on back-of-hand for stabilizing support.

ClimaCool Cyclone

Enjoy total comfort in the heat of the storm. Side vents in this ClimaCool® shoe create a cooling cyclone of air around your entire foot, while the sock-like fit adds an extra level of comfort.
ClimaCool provides 360-degree cooling for the entire foot
GeoFit construction for anatomical fit and comfort
TORSION SYSTEM provides adaptive midfoot support
adiPRENE under the heel for superior cushioning at impact
adiWEAR outsole offers the ultimate in high-wear durability

The Zacharian Workout Kit

2006-09-12T19:44:00.000+08:00

The next component of the Zacharian Makeover Program is,

The Zacharian Workout Kit

The Kit comprises of the following supplements:

From Top to Bottom:

Cissus-RX

Cissus-RX is a supplement based on a natural herbal remedy that has been used in traditional Indian medicine for centuries. It has proven itself extremely effective in supporting thehealing of various joint pains (eg. tendonitis), by nourishing and strengthening tendons, ligaments, cartilage and joints. Also promotes deep and restful sleep.

Thermorexin

Thermorexin creates a complete thermogenic, anorectic and lipolytic environment to allow for optimal fat burning. What this means is that it increases your metabolism, helps manage your appetite and increases the use of stored fats for energy. In addition, Thermorexin provides mild nootropic effects and will help increase your focus in the gym. When you decide you're going to lose weight there are several aspects of dieting that need to be addressed. You're going to eat less, do cardio exercise, and still try to maintain your mental and physical energy. Thermorexin addresses each of these aspects of dieting with ingredients that are clinically proven to work. So it will make dieting easier and help you get much better results.
Thermorexin has stimulants that will help keep your energy levels up even while eating less and doing strenuous workouts. Thermorexin has thermogenics to get your metabolism running faster and heat your body to burn fat faster. Thermorexin also contains nootropics (smart drugs) to help you think clearer and keep your focus while dieting. And last but not least it has appetite suppression that will help you decide when to eat rather than giving in to food cravings associated with dieting.

Nectare

Nectar Naturals once-and-for-all breaks the mold by combining the highest quality whey protein isolate ever developed, with a 100% natural flavoring system that is so fruitilicious that you will never drink another whey protein shake ever again. If you like the refreshing taste of fruit juice and tea, you'll love Nectar Naturals!
With its mouthwatering natural flavors, Nectar Naturals is truly a protein drink you will look forward to drinking each and every day. Nectar Naturals will keep you coming back for more. What's more? Well, we did something totally amazing by engineering Nectar Naturals to be so delicious that you can eat it right out of the container. Imagine putting a protein powder in your mouth and it tasting like candy. Imagine this protein powder having zero carbs, zero fat and zero artificial flavors.

HMB

The branched-chain amino acid (BCAA) metabolite B-hydroxy B-methylbutyrate monohydrate (HMB) has been shown to support the body's ability to minimize protein (i.e., muscle) breakdown and damage to muscle cells, which can occur after intense resistance exercise.1 By reducing muscle tissue breakdown, HMB may tip the scales of protein turnover in favor of new muscle growth.

NOX-CG3

NOXCG3, uses the most advanced matrix of extreme ingredients to achieve the most massive pumps, incredible size, superior performance and unsurpassable strength! We use a complete matrix of the most scientifically advanced ingredients available. See and feel the huge difference this complete muscle volumizing formula can make in your performance and physique! It can be used by both men and women, and is great for all types of workouts from running to weight lifting.
The Power of Three
Three Highly Absorbable Creatines

Creatine Ethyl Ester

The esterification of substances will increase their lipopholic abilities, and thus, esterified creatine will use fat more efficiently to permeate the cell wall and exert its effects upon cellular function. This means, that the dosage requirements are lower, but the absorption of esterified creatine is increased.

Creatine Alpha-Ketoglutarate

Because Creatine Alpha-Ketoglutarate is attached to the transport molecule AKG its absorption rate and bioavailability are greatly increased over regular creatine monohydrate.

Tri-Creatine Malate

When malic acid and creatine monohydrate form the compound Tri-creatine malate, the resulting product is more water-soluble than regular creatine monohydrate, eliminates the possibility of gastric disruption, and is more efficient at efficaciously impacting the ATP cycle. Three Unparalleled Nitric Oxide Boosters
Arginine HCLA special form of arginine that's been shown to cause massive increases in nitric oxide production, which dramatically increases blood flow and nutrient delivery.

Arginine Alpha-Ketoglutarate (A-AKG)

Boosts short term Nitric Oxide levels. Increased strength and markedly improved stamina can also be expected.
Arginine Ketoisocaproate (A-KIC)Combined with A-AKG the results may be classified into three categories: 1) the promotion of an extended muscle pump; 2) signaling muscle growth and speeding recovery; 3) increasing strength and stamina.

Ornithine Alpha-Ketoglutarate (O-AKG)

Ornithine combined with AKG to help aid amino acid sythesis and protein availability. Three Scientifically Advanced Glutamines

L-Glutamine

Highly in demand throughout the body, it is used in the gut and immune system extensively to maintain optimal performance.

N-Acetyl-L-Glutamine

The acetylated version of L-Glutamine is stable in water and metabolically efficient at delivering glutamine's biological effects over conventional Glutamine or Glutamine Peptides.
Glutamine Alpha-Ketoglutarate

A glutamine precursor that efficiently bypasses the gut and has the ability to enter the muscle cell for superior absorption and cell volumization. The combination of these nine key ingredients, will guarantee you the most mind- blowing, extreme workouts you've ever experienced. And the final topper...the taste! The extreme blue raspberry flavor in NOXCG3 will blow your mind, and it also doesn't come loaded with fat promoting sugars to make you feel bloated or "puffy".

Xtend

Xtend is a precise, scientific blend of Energy Aminos consisting of the proven 2:1:1 ratio of Branched Chain Amino Acids (L-Leucine, L-Isoleucine and L-Valine), Glutamine, Citrulline Malate, and Vitamin B6 that will give you the energy you need to maximize your training while enhancing recovery at the same time. The advanced components in Xtend have been scientifically proven to help speed recovery and enhance ATP production and promote cell volumization. Avoid fatigue by blocking entry of fatigue-inducing tryptophan into the brain. Increase protein synthesis, immune function and digestive health. Promote vasodilation which can lead to better assimilation and absorption of protein. Elevate growth hormone levels. Sounds good!

Take Note

Taking the RIGHT Supplements does not turns you into a freak... It does not change ur hormones and makes you more sissy... It does not hinders your natural growth.

So please do not have the impression that those who takes supplements are harming themselves.

And please do not have the stereo-typical thinking that supplements are just steroids... Supplements are definitely way more than just steroids...

The supplements featured in the Kit are selected from over 1000s of supplements available in the market. Each have its own unique usage and purpose, and is the best among the rest.

None of the products feature here are easily available in retail outlets in Singapore. Order it online.

http://www.bodybuilding.com/

The Zacharian Salad

2006-09-09T15:16:00.000+08:00

The Ulimate salad of the Zacharian Makeover Program- The Zacharian Salad*.
*name subject to change

Here is the list of ingredients and the amount required in a serving:
Iceberg Lettuce x 5 large shredds
Chinese Cucimber x 1/2
Japanese Cucumber x 1
Alfafa Sprouts x 1 handful
Mini Carrots x 6
American Celery x 2 stalk
Chinese Celery x 1 handful
Asparagus x 6
Cherry Tomatoes x 6
Salmon Shashimi x 3 slices

Optional: Strawberries or other types of wild berries x 4
Lemon x 1

Dressing: Organic(Soy bean) Thousand-Island Dressing

Recommended to be serve with a bowl of rice(only during lunch)

Ingredients in the Zacharian Salad have to be totally raw.

Availablility of the Ingredients:

@ Cold Storage, The Fresh Food People - Parkway Parade Level B1
Alfafa Sprouts
Iceberg Lettuce
Japanese Cucumber
Strawberries

@NTUC Fair Price - Marine Parade Promenade
Mini Carrot
Chinese Cucumber
American Celery
Asparagus
Cherry Tomato
Lemon

@Sakuraya Fish Mart - Parkway Parade Level B1
Salmon Shashimi

@ Giant Hypermart - Parkway Parade Level 3
Chinese Celery

As for the Organic(Soy Bean) Thousand-Island Dressing @ Tampines (near Tampines Polyclinic)

Looks like there is not a one-stop supermarket for your grocery shopping. It may seems that some of the ingredients are available in all 3 major supermarkets. However, i choose a specific supermarket to purchase a particular ingredient is because of the brand, quality and the price factor that outstands from the other supermarkets.

The Zacharian Salad, A product by Weiren

The Zacharian Makeover Program

2006-09-09T15:14:00.000+08:00

I proudly present to you my latest creation, The Zacharian Makeover Program.

Basically, this program is meant for people, who feels that they need a revamp in their life and want to change, for the better, especially ones could not settle down on their current fitness, physique, physical and mental health.

This program may be a new way of life for you. The program is only a guideline and technique to reshape your current life.

The Zacharian Makeover Program, has proven to lose 10kgs in 12 weeks, healthily.
The program will provide you a NEW Diet and Workout Experience.
This program is highly recommended for people who want to lose weight.

We know that there is not a shortcut for everything in life. But there is a better way to everything in life. Now, this program is now only a better, but also a healthy way, to lose weight.

Now, you need this program to lose weight. But, this program also need you to help you to lose weight. So what does this Zacharian Makeover Program needs from you in order to succeed its mission?
1. Discipline- you need it to maintain the program.
2. Time- you need it to be in the program.
3. Money- you need it to fund the program.
4. Love- you need it to cherish the program.
5. Faith- you need it to believe the program.
Once you possess such qualities, the program will works magic on you.

Three major aspects of the program:
The Zacharian Salad
The Zacharian Workout Kit
The Zacharian Workout

Rain of Fire

2006-08-27T19:59:00.000+08:00

Rain of Fire bombard the evening black,
seducing the minds of the bewildered.

A blast off the sky

2006-08-27T19:55:00.000+08:00

A blast off the sky,
Of no violence,
Of no harm.
But of joy,
And celebration.

Magical Sphere

2006-08-27T19:47:00.000+08:00

There is not much of a beauty,
But of a significance.
A magical sphere centering the performance,
Caught the eyes of masses,
Never to return them till it dissolves.

A spread of radiance

2006-08-27T19:41:00.000+08:00

A spread of radiance through the anticipating night sky!

Sentinels fireworks

2006-08-27T19:35:00.000+08:00

Fireworks above the bay,
Brilliant sentinels spawning on the day.
Captivating audiences,
Inspiring the nation.
All but for loyalty.

Angels dispersing

2006-08-27T19:28:00.000+08:00

Angels dispersing from the skies,
protecting us,
loving us.
Let us welcome them with open arms,
As they spread their wings and reaches us.
We shall feel their presence,
rejoice at their existence,
and love them.

Angels from Heaven

2006-08-27T19:21:00.000+08:00

Angels descending down from Heaven.
Answering the cries and prayers,
Helping the ones in need.

Sunrise

2006-08-27T18:44:00.000+08:00

Arhhh....feel the energy that radiates out from the source.
Enjoy the moment.

Weirenism

2006-08-22T21:30:00.000+08:00

Due to "popular demand", I hereby coin in a word:

Weirenism

Wei-Ren-Ni-Zerm) Noun

Asociated words:

Weirenity (noun)

Weirenish (noun)

Weirenist (noun)

Weiren (verb, noun?)

Weirened (verb)

Weirenly (adjective)

Weirenless (adjective)

Weirenism :

Definintion : Basically, it is a practice of a system of complexity that alters human's mind. The only medium which it can be use effectively is through human interaction. eg. speaking, writing, painting, thinking.

As a saying goes: What makes a difference between stupidity and intelligence is just a fine line.

Weirenism is what that fine line is all about. Scouting intelligence through the bushes of "stupidity". Searching truth through the lines.

Weirenism is a relatively "new" term. (Only a handful knows about it). And these "fortunate" ones are indeed fortunate. For they gathered new knowledge and experience, which are so powerful that they know its "extraordinary".

Weirenism knows no rule, knows no boundaries to a certain extend and in certain aspects).

However, it is govern by just 1 formulae:

Knowledge = Power

With regards to this formula, Weirenism provides just that. However, when one encounters Weirenism, one needs to allow himself to be Weirened, only then he will able to benefit from it. One needs to allow himself to be part of it and not denying its presence. Otherwise, Weirenism, to him/her/it, is just utter rubbish.

Weirenism can be an indicator of one's character. In this case, it is very sensitive and requires a highly intellectual one to utilize this advantage.

Weirenism, to some, is a term that is admired, respected, adored, appreciated and loved. To some, it is lame, stupid, retarded, bull-shit and completely absurd. It is all up to you, whether you stand in the first "some" or the latter.

Like I mentioned, Weirenism defines the line between stupidity and intelligence. It is an indicator of such, and it shall be proven to you.

In the upcoming post, I'll provide you with examples of Weirenism. Be sure to check it out!

Depressed

2006-07-06T19:12:00.001+08:00

Depressed

My dear angel of mine,

Its been sometime.

Much had been sown,

but what i wanted badly wasn't reaped.

Yes, its unconditional and it still is,

but sinless it was to desire.

You're unexpected,

as if you arn't.

But what comes into my mind wasn't you,

it is our future.

Future? Why not beyond that?

Because its pointless since there's no future.

It takes two hands to clap.

Wished to spare half my hand for you,

just to fulfill the criteria.

At least there'll be a tick.

A small and weak tick,

yet critical.

It may be done through sacrification.

Why must you make the experience so harsh?

Goodness i have my halo,

to morph the 'abuse'.

My! What had i done,

Should they be called achievements?

Yes- I'm proud of it.

They are sill my bearers of hope,

though you had shattered it.

I can't believe it!

What's done was done,

What's love was loved.

Final Fantasy IX Theme Song - Melodies Of Life by Emiko Shiratori

2006-06-17T00:04:00.000+08:00

Final Fantasy IX Theme Song - Melodies Of Life by Emiko Shiratori

Alone for a while I've been searching through the dark,
For traces of the love you left inside my lonely heart.
To weave by picking up the pieces that remain.
Melodies of Life love's lost refrain.

Our paths they did cross, though I cannot say just why,
We met, we laughed, we held on fast, and then we said good-bye,
And who'll hear the echoes of stories never told?
Let them ring out loud till they unfold.

In my dearest memories, I see you reaching out to me.
Though you're gone, I still believe that you can call out my name.

A voice from the past, joining yours and mine.
Adding the layers of harmony.
And so it goes, on and on.
Melodies of life.
To the sky beyond the flying birds-forever and beyond.

So far and away, see the bird as it flies,
Gliding through the shadows of the clouds up in the sky,
I've laid my memories, do you remember loving me? Leave them now and see what tomorrow brings. In your dearest memories, do you remember loving me?

Was it fate that brought us close and now leaves me behind?
A voice from the past, joining yours and mine.
Adding the layers of harmony.
And so it goes, on and on.
Melodies of life.
To the sky beyond the flying birds forever and beyond.

If should I leave this lonely world behind.
Your voice will still remember our melody.
Now I know we'll carry on.
Melodies of Life.
Come circle round and grow deep in our hearts,
as long as we
Remember.

Personality of: The little cute sweetie pie

2006-06-15T16:56:00.000+08:00

Personality of: The little cute sweetie pie

On the good side....

Adaptable and versatile.

Communicative and witty.

Intellectual and eloquent.

Youthful and lively.

On the dark side....

Nervous and tense.

Superficial and inconsistent.

Cunning and inquisitive.

She is dual-natured, elusive, complex and contradictory. On the one hand she produces the virtue of versatility and on the other the vices of two-facedness and flightiness.Her subjects tend to have the graces and faults of the young. When she is good, she is very attractive; when she’s bad she is more the worse for being the charmers she is. Like children she’s lively, and happy, if circumstances are right for them, or egocentric, imaginative and restless.

She takes up new activities enthusiastically but lack application, constantly needing new interests, flitting from project to project as apparently purposelessly as a butterfly dancing from flower to flower. To her life is a game which must always be full of fresh moves and continuous entertainment, free of labor and routine. Changing horses in the middle of the stream is another small quirk in her personality which makes decision making, and sticking to a decision, particularly hard for her.

Since she lacks the quality of conscientiousness, she is apt to fight a losing battle in any attempts she makes to be moral (in the widest sense of the word). Her good qualities are attractive and come easily to them. She is affectionate, courteous, kind, generous, and thoughtful towards the poor and suffering - provided none of the activities resulting from expressing these traits interferes too greatly with her own lives and comforts.

She quickly learns to use her outward attractiveness to gain their own ends, and when striving for these she will use any weapon in her armory - unscrupulous lying, and cunning evasiveness; escaping blame by contriving to put it on other people, wrapped up in all the charm she can turn on. In her better moments she may strive to be honest and straightforward, but self-interest is almost always the victor. If things go against her, she sulk like children.

Also like children, she demands attention, admiration, and the spending on her of time, energy and money, throwing tantrums if she doesn’t get what she wants. She reflect every change in her surroundings, like chameleons, and can become pessimistic, sullen, peevish and materialistically self-centered if circumstances force her to struggle in any way.

If the conditions of life become really adverse, her strength of will may desert her entirely. She can become uncertain of herself, either withdrawn, or nervously excitable worrier, sullenly discontented, hard and irritable, with "Self" looming ever larger in her struggles. On the other hand her versatility can make her very adaptable, adjusting herself to control the world around them by means of her inherent ingenuity and cleverness.

She has keen, intuitive, sometimes brilliant intelligence and loves cerebral challenges. But her concentration, though intense for a while, does not last. Her mental agility and energy give her a voracious appetite for knowledge from youth onwards, though she dislikes the labor of learning. She easily grasps almost everything requiring intelligence and mental dexterity, and is often able to marry manual skills to her qualities of mind.

Her intellect is strongly analytical and sometimes gives her so great an ability to see both sides of a question that she vacillate and find it hard to make decisions. But her intelligence may very well be used to control and unify the duality of her nature into a most efficient unit. If faced with difficulties, she has little determination to worry at a problem until she finds a solution - she will pick the brains of others. In her intellectual pursuits, as in other departments of her lives, she risk becoming dilettantes, losing themselves in too many projects which she follows until they become difficult.

In love she is fickle, not intentionally so but because of the basic inconsistency of her emotional nature, which has an amoral aspect to it. She can become deeply involved emotionally, and another, hostile to sentimentality, which stands back from a romantic situation, laughing at it and the protagonists in it, including her while analyzing it intellectually. She takes almost nothing seriously. So, in love, in spite of her temporary depth of feeling, for the intensity of involvement lasts only while it is new, she is superficial, light-hearted, cool, flirtatious and unimaginative in the understanding of the pain she may give others. She likes intrigue, the excitement of the chase, but once she has caught her prey, she loses interest and look around for the next creature to pursue.

In less serious situations she makes witty, entertaining companions, good acquaintances rather than friends. Even at her worst she is never dull - there is usually playfulness below the surface, and she can be brilliant conversationalists - but she can also be quarrelsome, prattlers, boasters, liars and cheats.

She can be successful in many walks of life though her general characteristics tend to make her unreliable. She may be skilled manipulators of language, in speech and writing, and may be: debaters, diplomats (though in politics she will be more interested in theory than practice), orators, preachers (brilliant rather than profound), teachers, authors, poets, journalists, or lawyers. In business any work which combines quick-wittedness with a change of surroundings suits her; working as a traveling salesperson, brokerage work, or dealing with the public in any capacity is right up her alley. Because she’s dispassionate, logical, rational and analytical that she may become good scientists, especially in the fields of medicine and astronomy. She also takes danger no more seriously than anything else and can earn herself a reputation for devotion to duty and heroic acts.

In the arts she may excel in music, painting and sculpture. She makes good psychic researchers of a skeptical kind. Negatively she can degenerate into confidence tricksters, thieves and even adepts in the black arts.

LIKES
Talking
Novelty and the unusual
Variety in life
Multiple projects all going at once
Reading

DISLIKES
Feeling tied down
Learning, such as school
Being in a rut
Mental inaction
Being alone

Personality of: The Man with Three Names

2006-06-15T16:03:00.000+08:00

Personality of: The Man with Three Names

On the good side....

Imaginative and sensitive.

Compassionate and kind.

Selfless and unworldly Intuitive,

and sympathetic.

On the dark side....

Escapist and idealistic.

Secretive and vague.

Weak-willed and easily led.

He possess a gentle, patient, malleable nature. He has many generous qualities and are friendly, good natured, kind and compassionate, sensitive to the feelings of those around them, and respond with the utmost sympathy and tact to any suffering they encounter. He's deservedly popular with all kinds of people, partly because his easy-going, affectionate, submissive natures offer no threat or challenge to stronger and more exuberant characters. He accept the people around him and the circumstances in which they find themselves rather than trying to adapt them to suit himself, and he patiently wait for problems to sort themselves out rather than take the initiative in solving them. He is more readily concerned with the problems of others than with his own.

His nature tend to be too otherworldly for the practical purposes of living in this world as it is. He sometimes exist emotionally rather than rationally, instinctively more than intellectually (depending on how he is aspected). He long to be recognized as greatly creative. He also dislike disciple and confinement. The nine-to-five life is not for them. Any rebellion he make against convention is personal, however, as he often times do not have the energy or motivation to battle against the Establishment.

He tends to withdraw into a dream world where their qualities can bring mental satisfaction and sometimes, fame and financial reward for he is extremely gifted artistically. He is also versatile and intuitive, have quick understanding, observe and listen well, and is receptive to new ideas and atmospheres. All these factors can combine to produce remarkable creativity in literature, music and art. He may count among his gifts mediumistic qualities which can give him a feeling that his best work comes from outside himself, "Whispered beyond the misted curtains, screening this world from that." Even when he cannot express himself creatively he has a greater than average instinct for, and love of, beauty in art and nature, a catlike appreciation of luxury and pleasure, and a yearning for new sensations and travel to remote, exotic places.

He is never egotistical in his personal relationships and give more than he ask from his friends. He is sexually delicate, in the extreme almost asexual, and he will want a relationship in which the partner's mind and spirit rather than the body resonated with his own. Unfortunately he can be easily misled by a lover who courts him delicately and in marriage makes him unhappy by a coarser sexuality than he expected. He is nevertheless intensely loyal and home-loving and will remain faithful.

In his employment he is better working either by himself or in subordinate positions. His talents are individual in a commercial business or similar undertaking. He would be afraid to manage more than a small department, worrying always that he would fail in a crisis. He can be fair secretaries and bookkeepers.

His sympathy equips him for work in charities catering for the needy, as nurses looking after the sick and as veterinary surgeons caring for animals. As librarians or astronomers he can satisfy his mental wanderlust, and his fondness for "faraway places with strange-sounding names" may turn him into sailor or traveler. Many architects and lawyers are like him, and when the creative abilities are combined with gifts of imitation and the ability to enter into the feelings of others, he finds fulfillment on the stage. His psychic and spiritual qualities can lead him into careers in the church or as mediums and mystics. He may find an outlet for their creativity as caterers, and are said to make good detectives because he can imagine himself in the place of criminals and understand how their minds would work. In technical occupations he is well employed in dealing with anaesthetics, fluids, gases and plastics. Because of his lively versatility and inability to concentrate overmuch on any one project, he often simultaneously follow more than one occupation.

Likes Solitude to dream in
Mystery in all its guises
Anything discarded to stay discarded
The ridiculous
like to get 'lost'

Dislikes
the obvious
being criticized
feeling all at sea about something
know-it-alls
pedantry

Personality of: Her

2006-05-20T19:57:00.000+08:00

Description of: Her

On the good side...

Determined and forceful.

Emotional and intuitive.

Powerful and passionate.

Exciting and magnetic.

On the dark side....

Jealous and resentful.

Compulsive and obsessive.

Secretive and obstinate.

She is pleasant to be with, thoughtful in conversation, dignified, and reserved, yet affable and courteous; she sometimes possess penetrating eyes which make their her companions feel naked and defenseless before them.

She gives the appearance of being withdrawn from the center of activity, yet those who know her will recognize the watchfulness that is part of her character. She needs great self-discipline, because she is able to recognize the qualities in herself that make her different from other people, and to know her utterly conventional natures can be used for great good, or great evil.

Her tenacity and willpower are immense, her depth of character and passionate conviction are overwhelming, yet deeply sensitive and easily moved by emotions. Her sensitivity, together with a propensity for extreme likes and dislikes makes her easily hurt, quick to detect insult or injury to herself (often when none is intended) and easily aroused to ferocious anger.This may express itself in such destructive speech or action that she makes lifelong enemies by her outspokenness, for she find it difficult not to be overly critical of anything or anyone to whom she take a dislike.

She can harness her abundant energy constructively, tempering self-confidence with shrewdness and their ambition with magnanimity toward others provided they like them. She relates to fellow workers only as a leader and can be blunt to those she dislikes to the point of cruelty. In fact she's not above expressing vindictiveness in deliberate cruelty.

She's too demanding, too unforgiving of faults in others, perhaps because she's unaware of the shortcomings within herself, and extravagantly express her self-disgust in unreasonable resentment against others.

She does, however, make excellent friends, provided that their companions do nothing to impugn the honor of which she's very jealous. Part of the negative side of the her nature is a tendency to discard friends once they cease to be useful.

Likes
Truth
Hidden Causes
Being involved
Work That is Meaningful
Being Persuasive

Dislikes
Being Given Only Surface information
Taken Advantage of
Demeaning Jobs
Shallow Relationships
Flattery and Flattering

The Looney Toons

2006-05-13T23:40:00.000+08:00

My Fav Looney Toons!

The all-time fav bunny, Bugs Bunny

The poor little dupe, Elmer

The sweet little canary, Tweety Bird

The Tasmanian Devil, Tazz
The Tweety-Meal maniac, Sylvester

The fat little pig, Porky Pig

The cutest martian ever,Marvin

The ever explosive, unpredictable, Daffy Duck

The romantic skunk, Pepé Le Pew

Beep Beep!, The Road-Runner

The eternal Road-Runner Chaser, Wile E.

The lovable, Granny

Frog J. Michigan

2006-05-13T21:47:00.000+08:00

Frog J. Michigan Warbling cartoon frog and mascot for the Warner Brothers cable network launched on January 11, 1995.

Hello, My Baby

2006-05-13T21:18:00.000+08:00

Hello, My Baby
by Frog J. Michigan

Hello, my baby!

Hello, my honey!

Hello, my ragtime gal!

Send me a kiss by wire.

Baby, my heart's on fire!

If you refuse me,
Honey, you loose me.

Then you'll be left alone.

Oh baby, telephone

And tell me I'm
Your own!

Sunrise

2006-05-03T21:17:00.000+08:00

This is a sunrise.
Unlike my previous sunset, this was taken at bedok jetty at around 7.15am.
The atmosphere was revitalising.
It is a good habit for one to expose to the sunrise or sunset regularly to recieve the maximum powerful energy that the sun can offer. Why only during these two periods of the day? Its's because these timings is the best to fully attain the fully beneficial energy without hurting your eyes. Your'll feel the energy, another type of warmness, or even slight vibrations for some. Traditionally, its also the best scenery to be with your girlfriend/boyfriend! :>

Resistance

2006-05-03T20:22:00.000+08:00

Resistance

Libra,
Scorpio.
Fixed before we're born,
too bad if our 1st cry lands on it.
For they believe such duality creates nothing other than suffering,
But i swear it gives everything except nothing.
Its alright if there's agony,
Just like one who success needs to fail.
Now i need your help to overcome it with me,
so that we had proven it true otherwise.
Fear not!
Afterall,
The overall reaction is observed as positive.

The Matrix Trilogy: Part II

2006-05-03T20:10:00.000+08:00

This is my World...Mr Anderson...My World!!!
by Agent Smith
cont'd

The World of Matrix

Overview
In the dystopia the series depicts, Earth is dominated by sentient machines. Humans are grown in pods and are connected by cybernetic implants to an artificial reality called the Matrix, which keeps their minds under control while the machines use the thermal energy of their bodies as an energy source.
The virtual reality world simulated by the Matrix consists primarily of a vast unname megacity which resembles human civilisation around the turn of the 21st century. As this environment is practically indistinguishable from reality, the majority of humans connected to the Matrix are unaware of its true nature. However, most of the central characters in the series know that it is not real, and as a result can partially bend the simulation's physical laws in order to perform superhuman feats.
The virtual world is first introduced in The Matrix. The Animatrix short film "The Second Renaissance" and the comic "Bits and Pieces of Information" show how the initial conflict between humans and machines came about, and how and why the Matrix was first developed. Its history and purpose are further explained in The Matrix Reloaded.

Version One
After the human race was defeated by the machines of Zero One, the machines performed experiments using cybernetic implants to connect human minds to computers. The first version of the Matrix into which the humans were hardwired was created by the Architect. According to him in The Matrix Reloaded, it was designed as a perfect world, with no wars, plagues, or dangers of any sort. People, due to human nature, began to reject this simulated utopian reality; according to Agent Smith, this rejection caused "entire crops" of humans to die.

Version Two
Instead of the "perfection" of the first, the second version of the Matrix simulated a world more in line with "the varying grotesqueries of [human] nature", with wars, plagues and more hellish environments. Images shown on the television screens as version two is being described include images of Nazi Germany, Communist Russia, as well as war, sickness and death. Particularly evident is images of radiation-burnt victims of the atomic bomb. This suggests that version two was in a perpetual state of war. It has been alluded to by pre-version three programs such as the Merovingian and Persephone that entities such as the Twins (ghosts), Seraph (angels), Cujo and his werewolves, Vlad and his vampires, as well as other "supernatural" programs are remnants of this era of the Matrix.
Much to the frustration of the Architect, this version was also a failure.

Version Three
The creation of a third version was suspended until a way of dealing with mankind's unpredictable nature could be found. The solution was stumbled upon by the Oracle, a program created to understand the human psyche. The Oracle found that 99% of humans would accept the system if given a subconscious choice to accept or reject the Matrix. However, the remaining 1% could eventually become dangerous to the stability of the Matrix if left unchecked. This problem was solved by allowing this 1% to reject the Matrix and create a settlement of their own called Zion. Otherwise, the unwilling people left inside the Matrix would cause it to crash, killing everyone connected to it.
In order to keep the inhabitants of Zion under control, they created the concept of the One, and the Oracle disseminated among the rebels a prophecy that this person would free humanity. The One would also be instrumental in the smooth restarting of the Matrix. Before the Matrix would crash, Zion would be attacked, and the One would meet the Architect, and would be told the truth about the Matrix and his following task:
"The function of the One is now to return to the Source allowing a temporary dissemination of the code you carry, reinserting the Prime Program. After which you will be required to select from the Matrix twenty-three individuals — sixteen female, seven male — to rebuild Zion. Failure to comply with this process will result in a cataclysmic system crash killing everyone connected to the Matrix which, coupled with the extermination of Zion, will ultimately result in the extinction of the entire human race."
The survivors would be told the prophecy of the One, but would not be allowed to know of the cycle of the Matrix's renewal, each time believing it to be around the year 2100 when they were revived, and the first time anyone had been freed from the Matrix.
The "One cycle" was put into effect, with the machines maintaining control of the system for five full cycles and five Ones. However, the sixth One, Thomas Anderson (called Neo), was different from his predecessors in a way the machines had not expected. The previous Ones had all felt a general attachment to people, and had chosen to prolong the Matrix in order to avoid the extinction of the human race; Neo, however, loved a particular woman, Trinity, a hacker whom the Oracle had told would fall in love with the One. Neo rejected the rational idea posed by the Architect to save humanity and instead made the irrational decision to save Trinity from an attack by an Agent.
In turn, this led to more system crashes and the allowance for Smith, a rogue Agent corrupted and strengthed by a previous encounter with Neo, to spread throughout the Matrix like a virus. He became a threat to both machines and humans alike, and so when the One struck a deal with the machines — in the form of an entity known as Deus ex Machina — to get rid of Smith in return for peace, it agreed. Neo battled Smith, but eventually realized that the only way to win was to allow Smith to imprint over himself, enabling the machines to delete the rogue program through him. Peace was restored, and the inhabitants of Zion were allowed to survive.

Version Four
The conclusion of The Matrix Revolutions shows a fourth version of the Matrix world, in which any people that wish to leave the Matrix are allowed to do so. The Matrix Online takes place in this version of the Matrix.

resources from wikipedia

The Matrix Trilogy: Part I

2006-04-30T21:47:00.000+08:00

"Mr Anderson, We miss you..."
by Agent Smith

Here's a dedication to my favourite movie trilogy of all, The Matrix Trilogy. My name was inspired by the main character in the movie, Neo.

Introduction
The series began with1999's The Matrix. The film, written and directed by the Wachowskis and produced by Joel Silver, was highly successful, earning $456 million worldwide. The movie's mainstream success led to the greenlighting of the next two films of what the Wachowskis maintain was conceived as a trilogy,The Matrix Reloaded and The Matrix Revolutions. It was a number of years and several iterations of scripts before the final movies were approved. The two sequels were filmed simultaneously and released six months apart.
In acknowledgement of the Japanese anime that was a strong influence on the Matrix series, The Animatrix was produced. This is a collection of nine animated short films intended to further flesh out the concepts, history, characters and setting of the series. November 5 2003 saw both the conclusion to the film trilogy and an unprecedented event: the simultaneous worldwide release of a major motion picture, when The Matrix Revolutions hit cinema screens worldwide at exactly the same time.

Criticism of sequels
While the first movie was extremely successful, viewers continue to debate the quality of the sequels. Some fans and professional critics believe they exceed the quality and conceptual heights of the first film, while others found the later films disappointing.
Upon release, The Matrix Reloaded received mixed reviews. Some claimed that it had been "hyped beyond the point where it [could] possibly deliver". Fans responded that it was not possible to fully appreciate it without experiencing the entire series, including Revolutions, the Animatrix and the video game Enter the Matrix.
Several sequences in Reloaded were sources of particular contention. A rave scene in the human city of Zion was particulaly vilified, as were the various conversations between characters on the subjects of causality, purpose and the humans' dependence on machines; some felt these concepts were not as well-integrated into the screenplay as those of the original film, with entire scenes devoted to such discussions.
Many concepts and questions introduced in Reloaded incited strong speculation about how Revolutions would end the series. Heated discussions involving radical theories took place among fans. One particularly controversial moment was Neo's long-range destruction of a Sentinel towards the end of Reloaded, which appeared to contradict many of the rules laid down elsewhere in the series' continuity. Fans speculated that it would be explained through the revelation that Neo was at least partly machine, or through the possibility that the apparently "real" world was just another false reality or a "Matrix within a Matrix". When The Matrix Revolutions was finally released, a common complaint was that it did not give satisfying answers to these and other questions raised in Reloaded although it has been argued that the answers - whilst available in Revolutions - were simply not understood by a number of viewers.

Philosophy
Elements of philosophy, theology and ontology are heavily present in The Matrix. Students of Gnosticism will notice many of its themes touched upon. There are also many references to Hinduism, Buddhism, Taoism, and Christianity, with concepts of enlightenment, nirvana and rebirth. Further references to Buddhism and Hinduism include the free will versus fate debate, the use of the Hindu mantras in the movie's soundtrack, perception, the concept of Maya, Karma and various ideas about the nature of existence. In many ways The Matrix is about a kind of reality enforcement, hyperreality or, some might say, an awareness that the material and physical world are an illusion.
Some Christian anarchists say the world we live in is a Matrix and the only way of escaping is through achieving enlightenment. They say notable escapees over the years have included Abraham, Moses, John the Baptist, Jesus of Nazareth and Muhammad. They believe the movie has many similarities to the New Testament with Neo, Morpheus and Cypher playing the parts of Jesus, John the Baptist and Judas respectively. These Christian anarchists believe the main difference to The Matrix is that outside our world lies paradise rather than the dark world portrayed in the movie.
One of the major debates arising from the film is the philosophical question, is our world reality or is it merely an illusion which is billions of years old? This theory had also been developed by the philosopher Nick Bostrom, Are you living in a computer simulation?
The Matrix follows all phases of the Campbellian monomyth arc with near-literal precision, including even minor details like the circular journey, the crucial battle happening underground, and even the three-headed immortal enemy (the three agents).
The character of the Oracle is strongly similar to that of the Oracle of ancient Greek legend. In particular, her warning to Neo that he is faced with a choice between saving his own life, or Morpheus' is very reminiscent of the warning that the Oracle gave to King Leonidas when setting out for the Battle of Thermopylae. In the Greek legend, she warns Leonidas that either his city will be left in ruins, or that a Spartan king must die, thus Leonidas is left with the choice of his own life or the survival of his city. It could be further argued that had Neo chosen to save his own life, Smith would have gained the access codes he needed from Morpheus and the city of Zion would have fallen. Thus, ultimately, Neo's choice was the same as that of Leonidas: his own life, or the fate of a city.
The ideas behind The Matrix have been explored in old philosophical texts on epistemology, such as Plato's allegory of the cave and Descartes' Meditations on First Philosophy. In a well-known Solipsistic thought experiment, the subject is a brain in a vat of liquid; in the Matrix, Neo is a body in a vat. The idea of a choice whether or not to take the red pill and accept reality also resembles a famous thought experiment posed in the 1970s by American philosopher Rober Nozick.
Postmodern thought plays a tangible role in the movie. In an opening scene, Neo hides an illegal minidisk in a false copy of Jean Baudrillard's Simulacra and Simulation, a work that describes modern life as a hyperreal experience of simulation based upon simulation. Interpretations of The Matrix often reference Baudrillard's philosophy to demonstrate that the movie is an allegory for contemporary experience in a heavily commercialized, media-driven society, especially of the developed countries. Nevertheless, Jean Baudrillard himself rejected the assimiliation of his work with the Matrix series and refused to work with the Wachowski.
The famous quote by Morpheus pulled over our eyes to blind us from the truth is a direct copy of Charle Peirce statement.

Communism
Some academics have argued that the Matrix series is consistent with a Marxist analysis of society. Professor Martin Danahay and then PhD candidate David Rieder co-wrote a chapter of the best-selling book The Matrix and Philosophy: Welcome to the Desert of the Real in which they argue that the movie gives a visual image of Marx’s ideas, particularly in the scene where Morpheus tells new recruit Neo that the computers have reduced him to nothing more than a battery.
Being slaves to the machine... "Humans in The Matrix must produce electricity to run the machines that enslave them, just as workers in Marx’s analysis must produce surplus value through their work," Danahay explained. "Also, the rebels in the movie liberate Morpheus from an office, and they rescue Neo from his white-collar job. The rebels are trying to get workers to wake up and realize they are being exploited, which is one of Marx’s aims, too.".
Danahy and Rider also argue that rebellion against the machines' domination is an analogy for the modern-day workplace with the evil agents dressed like corporate executives, and Neo escaping from his cubicle to escape them. When he ambushes the evil agents later in the movie, they are in an office high-rise complete with impersonal decor. (Source: Arlington Star-Telegram, June 10, 2003).
Similarly, the Maoist International Movement has adopted the Matrix as one of its favourite films asserting that they "could not have asked for more in a two and a half hour Hollywood movie" and views it as an exercise in dialectics in which a new mode of production is explored, the "battery mode of production".
The youth wing of the Russian Communist Party has also embraced the Matrix and its sequels with youth wing leader Oleg Bondarenko asserting there is "no difference" between Neo and Lenin as revolutionaries.
There are also elements of conspiracy theories. Similar to John Carpenter's They Live, the Matrix is presented as the 'System', which secretly controls everything and which, according to the theorists, will eventually consume everyone. In the Matrix, high positions in companies and organisations are held only by those who are part of the System (programs, like Smith or Ramakandra). The Agents are those who uphold the 'order' and keep the 'conspiracy' safe, like the Men in Black of pop culture.
Furthermore, the city of Zion is a communist city as it must be to allow the humans to survive. No form of money or commerce is ever seen, the public has access to food and facilities. The citizens share tasks and labor is volunteered as seen by Zee's shell making and no entity steals the labor of others. This is seen by some as primitive communism and by others as state level communism.

Science
Although sunlight could only dimly penetrate the atmosphere in the movie, it should be noted that the reason given in the movie for computers enslaving humans makes no sense from a thermodynamic(physical) point of view. The chemical energy required to keep a human being alive is vastly greater than the bio-electric or thermal energy that could be harvested; human beings, like all living beings, are not energy sources, but rather energy consumers. It would be vastly more effective to burn the organic matter to power a conventional electrical generator. Not even considering feeding the huge human capsulated civilization. Other power sources available could be used, such as geothermal energy or the heat generated by the dissipation of the tidal movements of the oceans and Earth's crust or any other not yet imagined sources.
Some people have pointed out the possibility that the laws of thermodynamics could work differently in real life than in the Matrix (to make it harder for people to suspect they are being used as a power source), or that the machines have technology not yet imaginable by humans, and thus the known laws of science are impossible to apply in this situation (Morpheus mentions that the human power source is "combined with a form of fusion"). Another possibility is that of the exploitation of latent electrokinetic abilities in human beings as demonstrated by Neo's destruction of a Sentinel in The Matrix Reloaded. On the other hand, Morpheus speaks of physical laws like gravity applying both to the real world and within its simulation, and the scenes we see within the real world are certainly consistent with physical laws as we know them. Entropy, however, can't be the machines' invention, because if it did not exist in their world, or if the direction of energy flow was sometimes concentrated instead of dissipated, the machines either could not exist, or would not require a constant source of energy to operate, mutually exclusive to the idea that humans blocked most sunlight from Earth to cut them off from their primary source of power.
Critical fans have speculated (see Krypto-revisionism) that the machines were actually using the humans' brains as components in a massively parallel neural network computer, and that the characters were simply mistaken about the purpose. A massively parallel neural network computer based on human brains might also be more energy-efficient to run than equivalent computer components, solving the thermodynamic paradox associated with the use of human bodies over conventional electrical generators. The characters' error would then be reflected in the "Zion Historical Archive" of "The Second Renaissance". In fact, this was very close to the original explanation. Because the writers felt that non-technical viewers would have trouble understanding this explanation, they abandoned it in favor of the "human power source" explanation. The neural-network explanation, however, is presented in the film's novelization and Neil Gaiman's short story "Goliath", featured on the Matrix website and in the first volume of The Matrix Comics.
It is also established later in the trilogy that the machines and humans are interdependent for reasons more philosophical than technological.

resources from wikipedia

My Ambitions(present)

2006-04-30T01:00:00.000+08:00

My Ambitions(present)

1. Professional Sudokuist, able to finish Easy in 5min, Intermediate in 10min, Hard in 15min and Diabolical in 20min.

2. Pass my 'O' Level with 12points.
Eng-A2
Chinese-B3
E maths-A2
(Phy/Chem)-A1
(History/Social Studies)-A2
Geography-A2

3. To study in St. Andrews JC. Hoping to enter with 12 points, and reducing it further with loyalty and cca points.
Ideal subject combinations:
G.P.
Chinese
Chemistry
Geography
History

4.Professional Angelic Card and Tarot Card Reader
Being a new-ager, i would like to be one of the middlemen between the multi-dimensions. to assist and learn as you help is one way to evolve. To transmit an advice or guidance which can improve someone or an situation is really a wonderful experience. I had thought of doing this service in order to earn some extra cash. Whoever interested, inform me and i'll arrange it with you as soon as possible.

5. To have a meaningful, successful relationship with her
But, now its a challenge to court her. There's no peers support, she is skeptical, i'm more reserved than expressive in terms of feelings.(i dun usually behave accordingly to my feelings) I gone speechless and blush when she look at me.

6.Learning music and playing the piano
Its abit too late, but i'm trying to learn the theories of music and playing the piano. I'm inspired by the pieces of 'Variation on the Kanon' and 'Grieg's Concerto in A minor'. However, its always easy to say than done, and this time it can't be mind over matter. Music is not easy. I'm learning it without any instructors.

7. An above-average badminton player
I just love that sport alot. I enjoy it than any other sports(other than bowling and pool).

Sudoku, Part III: The Mathematics behind the puzzle

2006-04-30T00:05:00.000+08:00

Sudoku, Part III: The Mathematics behind the puzzle

Mathematics of Sudoku
The general problem of solving Sudoku puzzles on n² × n² boards of n × n blocks is known to be NP-complete. This gives some indication of why Sudoku is difficult to solve, although on boards of finite size the problem is finite and can be solved by a deterministic finite automaton. that knows the entire game tree.
Solving Sudoku puzzles can be expressed as graph-colouring problem. The aim of the puzzle in its standard form is to construct a proper 9-colouring of a particular graph, given a partial 9-colouring. The graph in question has 81 vertices, one vertex for each cell of the grid. The vertices can be labelled with the ordered pairs , where x and y are integers between 1 and 9. In this case, two distinct vertices labelled by and are joined by an edge.

The puzzle is then completed by assigning an integer between 1 and 9 to each vertex, in such a way that vertices that are joined by an edge do not have the same integer assigned to them.
A valid Sudoku solution grid is also a Latin Square. There are significantly fewer valid Sudoku solution grids than Latin squares because Sudoku imposes the additional regional constraint. Nonetheless, the number of valid Sudoku solution grids for the standard 9×9 grid was calculated by Bertram Felgenhauer in 2005 to be 6,670,903,752,021,072,936,960 (sequence A107739 in OEIS). This number is equal to 9! × 72² × 27 × 27,704,267,971, the last factor of which is prime. The result was derived through logic and brute force computation. The derivation of this result was considerably simplified by analysis provided by Frazer Jarvis and the figure has been confirmed independently by Ed Russell. Russell and Jarvis also showed that when symmetries were taken into account, there were 5,472,730,538 solutions (sequence A109741 in OEIS). The number of valid Sudoku solution grids for the 16×16 derivation is not known.
The maximum number of givens that can be provided while still not rendering the solution unique is four short of a full grid; if two instances of two numbers each are missing and the cells they are to occupy form the corners of an orthogonal rectangle, and exactly two of these cells are within one region, there are two ways the numbers can be assigned. Since this applies to Latin squares in general, most variants of Sudoku have the same maximum. The inverse problem—the fewest givens that render a solution unique—is unsolved, although the lowest number yet found for the standard variation without a symmetry constraint is 17, a number of which have been found by Japanese puzzle enthusiasts, and 18 with the givens in rotationally symmetric cells.

resources from wikipedia

2006-04-29T23:44:00.000+08:00

Sudoku, Part II: Solution Methods

Scanning
Scanning is performed at the outset and throughout the solution. Scans only have to be performed one time in between analysis periods. Scanning consists of two basic techniques:
Cross-hatching: the scanning of rows (or columns) to identify which line in a particular region may contain a certain numeral by a process of elimination. This process is then repeated with the columns (or rows). For fastest results, the numerals are scanned in order of their frequency. It is important to perform this process systematically, checking all of the digits 1–9.
Counting 1–9 in regions, rows, and columns to identify missing numerals. Counting based upon the last numeral discovered may speed up the search. It also can be the case (typically in tougher puzzles) that the easiest way to ascertain the value of an individual cell is by counting in reverse—that is, by scanning the cell's region, row, and column for values it cannot be, in order to see which is left.
Advanced solvers look for "contingencies" while scanning—that is, narrowing a numeral's location within a row, column, or region to two or three cells. When those cells all lie within the same row (or column) and region, they can be used for elimination purposes during cross-hatching and counting. Particularly challenging puzzles may require multiple contingencies to be recognized, perhaps in multiple directions or even intersecting—relegating most solvers to marking up (as described below). Puzzles which can be solved by scanning alone without requiring the detection of contingencies are classified as "easy" puzzles; more difficult puzzles, by definition, cannot be solved by basic scanning alone.

Marking up
Scanning stops when no further numerals can be discovered. From this point, it is necessary to engage in some logical analysis. Many find it useful to guide this analysis by marking candidate numerals in the blank cells. There are two popular notations: subscripts and dots.
In the subscript notation the candidate numerals are written in subscript in the cells. The drawback to this is that original puzzles printed in a newspaper usually are too small to accommodate more than a few digits of normal handwriting. If using the subscript notation, solvers often create a larger copy of the puzzle or employ a sharp or mechanical pencil.
The second notation uses a pattern of dots within each square, where the position of the dot represents a number from 1 to 9. Dot schemes differ and one method is illustrated here. The dot notation has the advantage that it can be used on the original puzzle. Dexterity is required in placing the dots, since misplaced dots or inadvertent marks inevitably lead to confusion and may not be easy to erase without adding to the confusion. Using a sharp pencil with an eraser end is recommended.

An alternative technique, that some find easier, is to "mark up" those numerals that a cell cannot be. Thus a cell will start empty and as more constraints become known it will slowly fill. When only one mark is missing, that has to be the value of the cell. One advantage to this method of marking is that, assuming no mistakes are made and the marks can be overwritten with the value of a cell, there is no longer a need for any erasures.
When using marking, additional analysis can be performed. For example, if a digit appears only one time in the mark-ups written inside one region, then it is clear that the digit should be there, even if the cell has other digits marked as well.

Analysis
The two main approaches to analysis are "candidate elimination" and "what-if".
In "candidate elimination", progress is made by successively eliminating candidate numerals from one or more cells to leave just one choice. After each answer has been achieved, another scan may be performed—usually checking to see the effect of the contingencies.
One method of candidate elimination works by identifying "matched cells". Cells are said to be matched within a particular row, column, or region (scope) if two cells contain the same pair of candidate numerals (p,q) and no others, or if three cells contain the same triplet of candidate numerals (p,q,r) and no others. The placement of these numerals anywhere else within that same scope would make a solution for the matched cells impossible; thus, the candidate numerals (p,q,r) appearing in unmatched cells in that same row, column or region (scope) can be deleted.
This principle also works with candidate numeral subsets, that is, if three cells have candidates (p,q,r), (p,q), and (q,r) or even just (p,r), (q,r), and (p,q), all of the set (p,q,r) elsewhere within that same scope can be deleted. The principle is true for all quantities of candidate numerals.
A second related principle is also true. If, within any set of cells (row, column or region), a set of candidate numerals can only appear within a number of cells equal to the quantity of candidate numerals, the cells and numerals are matched and only those numerals can appear in the matched cells. Other candidates in the matched cells can be eliminated. For example, if the 2 numerals (p,q) can only appear in 2 cells within a specific set of cells (row, column or region), all other candidates in those 2 cells can be eliminated.
The first principle is based on cells where only matched numerals appear. The second is based on numerals that appear only in matched cells. The validity of either principle is demonstrated by posing the question, 'Would entering the eliminated numeral prevent completion of the other necessary placements?' If the answer to the question is 'Yes,' then the candidate numeral in question can be eliminated. Advanced techniques carry these concepts further to include multiple rows, columns, and regions.
In the "what-if" approach, a cell with only two candidate numerals is selected, and a guess is made. The steps above are repeated unless a duplication is found or a cell is left with no possible candidate, in which case the alternative candidate is the solution. In logical terms, this is known as reductio ad absurdum. Nishio is a limited form of this approach: for each candidate for a cell, the question is posed: will entering a particular numeral prevent completion of the other placements of that numeral? If the answer is yes, then that candidate can be eliminated. The what-if approach requires a pencil and eraser. This approach may be frowned on by logical purists as trial and error (and most published puzzles are built to ensure that it will never be necessary to resort to this tactic) but it can arrive at solutions fairly rapidly.
Ideally one needs to find a combination of techniques which avoids some of the drawbacks of the above elements. The counting of regions, rows, and columns can feel boring. Writing candidate numerals into empty cells can be time-consuming. The what-if approach can be confusing unless you are well organised. The proverbial Holy Grail is to find a technique which minimizes counting, marking up, and rubbing out.

resources from wikipedia

Soduku, Part I: Introduction

2006-04-29T23:38:00.000+08:00

Sudoku, Part I : Introduction

Here's some information regarding my favourite puzzle, Sudoku.

The puzzle is most frequently a 9×9 grid, made up of 3×3 subgrids called "regions" (other terms include "boxes", "blocks", and the like when referring to the standard variation; even "quadrants" is sometimes used, despite this being an inaccurate term for a 9×9 grid). Some cells already contain numerals, known as "givens" (or sometimes as "clues"). The goal is to fill in the empty cells, one numeral in each, so that each column, row, and region contains the numerals 1–9 exactly once. Each numeral in the solution therefore occurs only once in each of three "directions" or "scopes", hence the "single numbers" implied by the puzzle's name.

The attraction of the puzzle is that the rules are simple, yet the line of reasoning required to reach the solution may be complex. Sudoku is recommended by some teachers as an exercise in logical reasoning. The level of difficulty of the puzzles can be selected to suit the audience. The puzzles are often available free from published sources and may also be custom-generated using software.

resources from wikipedia

Dislikes

2006-04-25T22:18:00.000+08:00

Dislikes

Her hostility
Her frown
No one( rejecting someone is to reject a creation of the Oneness)
being fearful
being shy
being low self-esteem
being under to confront her
being under able to look into her eyes
unable to face the many truths
being agitated
the fact that she had no feelings for me
Stress(excessive)

Likes

2006-04-25T21:47:00.000+08:00

Likes

Her
My painting of her(only through it i can communicate with her)
All my subjects
Everyone( i bear no grudges)
Myself
My PS2
My Samsung ultra slim DVD-player
My Samsung 40-inch TV
My Muvo N200 Mp3-player
My Finepix digital camera
My room
My paintbrush and acrylic paint sets
My inert gas pendant
My deck of tarot
My deck of angelic oracle cards
My soul cleansing CD
Playing Variations on the Kanon(spent 5 months memorising it)
My co-curriculum organization
My class
My tuitions
My work
My dreams(only through it i can communicate with her)
The set of books that equiped me with priceless knowledge
My friends through out the globe
valuable experiences and lessons
this blog
the photos i had taken

Sunset

2006-04-22T19:38:00.000+08:00

Sunset
Isn't it awesome...
I took that outside my house.
Its a sunset, with dark gray heavy clouds.
What mood you feel when you look at this pic?

Locus Iste(Sanctus)

2006-04-22T18:37:00.000+08:00

Locus Iste(Sanctus)
As heard in this blog
Composed by: Robert Prizeman
Sung by: A choir group known as Libera

Locus iste a deo factus est,
In estimabile sacramentum

Sanctus, Sanctus

Benedictus qui venit in Domine

Sanctus Dominus Deus Sabbaoth
Pleni sunt coeli et terra Gloria

Benedictus in nomine
Qui venit in nomine

Jewel in the Palace

2006-04-22T18:24:00.000+08:00

Onara: Theme song of The Jewel in the Palace
Composed by: Se-Hyeon Im

Onara(translation)
Onara onara aju ona
Gadara gadara aju gana
Nanari daryeodo mot nonani
Aniri aniri ani none
He-i-ya di-i-ya heiyadara nino
Ojido mothana daryeo gama
Eya diya eyanara niyo
Ojido mothana daryeo gama

Onara in Hangul
오나라 오나라 아주 오나
가다라 가다라 아주 가나
나나니 다려도 못 노나니
아니리 아니리 아니 노네
헤이야 디이야 헤이야다라 니노
오지도 못하나 다려 가마
에야 디야 에야나라 니요
오지도 못하나 다려 가마

Onara in English
If asked to come, will he really come?
If asked to leave, will he really leave?
Even after waiting for countless days, we will not be together
Nay, nay, it is nay
chorus
You cannot come, so take me instead
chorus
You cannot come, so take me instead

True Courage

2006-04-15T21:35:00.000+08:00

True Courage

Courage isn't the absence of fear. Courage is the willingness to recognize what is truly important.

In cowardice, one is mislead by false ideas to betray one's own true self, one's own Love. This leads one further and further away from oneself. It is actualy the Self, that one is running away from.

In Courage, one takes up the willingness to simply recognize, that only Love is real, only Love truly matters, and hence it is but a natural consequence, that one carries out what is truly important, the act of Courage, in a natural expression or service of this Love.

What's your personal sexual orientation

2006-04-15T20:54:00.000+08:00

What's your personal sexual orientation

In total, there are 14 types of people. (In the following statements, when the word "like" is used, it means "sexually attracted to".)

1) Males who feel they are a male soul in a male body and like males.
2) Males who feel they are a female soul in a male body and like males.
3) Males who feel they are a male soul in a male body and like females.
4) Males who feel they are a female soul in a male body and like females.
5) Females who feel they are a male soul in a female body and like males.
6) Females who feel they are a female soul in a female body and like males.
7) Females who feel they are a male soul in a female body and like females.
8) Females who feel they are a female soul in a female body and like females.
9) Males who feel they are a male soul in a male body and like both males & females.
10) Males who feel they are a female soul in a male body and like both males & females.
11) Females who feel they are a male soul in a female body and like both males & females.
12) Females who feel they are a female soul in a female body and like both males & females.
13) Males who feel their soul is both male and female, but are in a male body and like both males & females.
14) Females who feel their soul is both male and female, but are in a female body and like both males & females.

One's sexual orientation is a complex matter which is influenced or partially determined by *many* factors, including biological genetics (DNA) of your physical body; biochemical and hormonal factors (there are chemicals that can alter sexual behaviour), also partially affected by family (eg. parental factor) and other psychological or societal factors, while growing up; and very importantly, it is also determined by the qualities of your own higher self or soul (while all souls are both simultaneously male and female, a soul who's lived many lifetimes as a male, when incarnating as a female for a first time, may naturally have masculine, lesbian tendencies), and finally can also be determined by your own free will (yes, you can choose to develop, focus, or express various aspects of your sexuality more than others).

Which of the above 14 types are you? Ask yourself honestly, and no matter what your choice is, the only important thing is that you unconditionally love yourself and be comfortable with your sexual orientation, no matter what it is, no matter what you choose it to be. Be happy, be loving and be accepting, towards yourself and towards others. That's the most important thing.

Fire & Ice

2006-04-14T23:45:00.000+08:00

Fire & Ice

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire,
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if I had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate.
To say thay for destruction ice,
Is also greatAnd would suffice.

Robert Frost

The Secret Sits

2006-04-14T23:40:00.000+08:00

The Secret Sits

We dance round in a ring and suppose,

But the Secret sits in the middle and knows.

Robert Frost

Laws of Reflection

2006-04-14T22:57:00.000+08:00

Law of Reflection

When someone says you are useless,
It doesn't mean you are useless.
It means he/she is useless.

When someone says you are capable,
It doesn't mean you are capable.
It means he/she is capable.

7th April 2006

2006-04-14T21:18:00.000+08:00

It was Friday.It was also a day of
-Speech and Prize Presentation
-New experience
-Unexpected encounters
-Valuable lessons
-My day

Speech and Prize Presentation
That's what the day was all about. Many speeches were given by personnel people respected. Prizes were given to almost 10% of the school's population. I'm very glad i was one of them. If not, i wouldn't had gone up stage, and caught her attention once again. Well, if only my assumption was true. Only she knows. Able to see my friends going up to collect their fruit of labour,too, had widen the smile on my face. I'm happy for them. Although we are just acquaintants in your eyes, we know each other for four years, i can see the joy in them and how much they appreciate their awards, just like how i felt.

New Experience
For the 1st time, i'm appointed a role that seems important. that's a new and wonderful experience, its memorable, its enriching. Its a new and wonderful experience to be a contingent commander and prize winner on speech day. I was promoted on that day too. I questioned myself on that day,' Do i deserve this?', 'Should i be given a higher or lower rank than what was given to me', 'Does this reflects well on my contribution?' Such self-inquiry are indeed self-engaging and powerful.

Unexpected Encounters
Well, this section is quite sensitive. I shall disclaim that what i will write are base on words that were passed to me, and not on 1st hand experience. If there is any mistakes or uncertainties, please ignore it and don't let it affect you negatively or in any other manner.

An incident had broke out,
It was the aftermath of a wonderful day.
Unity and Joy occupied the front,
Only to let Disappointment be the conclusion.

The pieces were torn,
just like my fragmented mind.
why were they then?
Questioned my mind.

juniors are innocent,
innocent is bliss.
Bliss is love,
love often disguise.

Clarity has yet being exothermic.

Not again. my thoughts became stanzas. It always happen when i'm too emotional and lost for words. My apologies if those reading it can't interpret it. Maybe after u had finish reading the entire post, then you'll realise my thoughts.

Valuable lesson
That day was where many lessons were learnt. For me, i had learn from my instructors and officers that help and assistantiality exist. They had people meant to be valued and learn from.For its our nature to love and care for others. A bully's ally will become yours instead if he/she is clarified of the situation and make his/her decision wisely.
I had also felt the respect given to me, by my juniors,by my friends, by my officers, by my instructors. However, there's always a black sheep in a family. And this particular one hadn't given me any respect more or equal to what others had given me. Well, so be it. I'm contented by them. You shall make no difference.

I had also learnt from my senior's lesson. Tit for Tat. Truthfully, it was materialised on her. Hope she learn the lesson that she had, and which i had learnt from her.

I also learnt another lesson, which was from my junior. Self-reflection. Maybe she herself doesn't know it consciously, but her actions taught me. She realized her mistakes and amend for it. Sounds simple yet its not easy.

My Day
Yes! Indeed it was one of my happiest day i had in my last year in that school.

Humanity Infinitium

2006-03-25T22:55:00.000+08:00

The Temptation

The Flood

The Tribulation

The Transformation

The Pentacle of Human Race

Back From Poems

2006-03-21T21:57:00.000+08:00

Let's take a break from poems, and get to proper manner. Well, initially, they weren't supppose to be poems. I became so emotional that those stanzas just pop up onto my mind. That's demostrates the Power of Love. Maybe its also because i studies and love literature.
Those poems, they're my power-ups. My booster, my energy.

There happens to have some irony between us. We are hostile towards each other. I wouldn't smile to her whenever we met eye to eye. But i did in my heart, secretly and painfully. As i'll see her, frowning her beautiful eyes, soring her soft cheeks muscles, at me, causing my heart in pound in distress.

Was there any debts we had within us that hadn't been settled and brought foward to the present? How i wish to know the truth, and confess the truth to her. The truth of my feelings, our backgrounds, my wish. Everything.

One of the truth is i'm suffering from "social anxiety disorder". I couldn't face people with confidence, with the enthusiasm. All i can is to stay silence and watch they day go by. With such a disadvantage, how is it possible to confess my feelings for her openly? Moreover, that may seems to be a misunderstanding between us. Which may explains her hostility towards me.

Now i may had found one of my goals in life. What a relief, to recieve such gift at this age. I really appreciate it. Even if she's not the one, it doesn't matter. Its a joy to give Love, and pleasant to receive it.

Dream About You

2006-03-20T22:40:00.000+08:00

Dream About You

She got that look.
Was it of someone from 'before'?
Thought it was just another girl,
just like many others who had caught my attention.
But was proven wrong,
One year had pass, and it did not wear of at all.
Seeing you smile at him,
jeopardized my heart.
How i wish to be him,
rejuvenate my heart.
Opportunities! Chance!
Where are you?
Where is the Miracle!
All I need is just one of you!
Its not me who she like,
Its she whom i like.
Just like a boundless sea,
drifting one-sidedly.
Shall we form a block mountain?
Converging together and be found high up there.
Only seeing her from behind timidly,
and turn aways when her eyes slapped mine over.
What a disasterous discision i made two years ago!
Abandoning the path same as her,
Admiring her on that path,
Regreting about the dicision.
Its meant to be this way,
As we can overcome it, if,
If you want to.
This is my Dream About You.

My feelings for her

2006-03-20T21:59:00.000+08:00

My Feelings

Here i am, known as Neo,
There i am, another name.
There She is, My Beloved One,
I am here, yet She doesn't know.
There She comes, my heart soaring.
Look into Her eyes,
Beautiful and Hostile.
How i wish i can touch your hand,
rather than your heart-breaking attitude.
Come, join me and be Free,
Free from F.E.A.R. of me.
Life is a Beauty, Admire it,
You are a Beauty, I'll Admire it too.
We know not each other,
but we're meant for each other.
I Love you before I met you,
You Hate me before I met you.
Ironic, Let's meet each other,
So Near yet so Far.
Anxiety is the Cause,
Judgemental is Another.
How i wish i could be the one you Love,
For Loving you is not good enough.
Whatever it is, I'll always be by your side,
Loving you.

Introduction

2006-03-20T21:56:00.000+08:00

Introduction

They'll hang up their halo-es one day,
a phrase commonly questioned by people surrounding me.
It simply means the higher beings giving up on us,
retiring as they had hung up their haloes.
Fortunately, that in any sense is never possible.
For, We are always being The Beloved.